Misadventures of my LIFE

Looking for that ONE

2009-10-16T11:04:00.000+08:00

In our recent time, people often set criteria or preference on whom to care about. We are very ideal when it comes to that; just like on the movies, when the perfect guy and the perfect girl meet and would live their happily ever after – and we just so wanted that exact same scenario in our life! Some wanted to have a guy who’s 6 feet tall, with a pair of pretty eyes to melt their heart away when he stares at her, or a six jam packed abs to knock her of her feet; or a girl whose stat are as comparable as that of sexiest woman alive or some one who’s as appealing as Aphrodite – but little do they realize, when it comes to love, you can never be too specific who to love.

I was constantly was looking for something both superficially and underneath from all the people I went out with. Some were too good to be true that would make you think twice if you’ll ever get into the plunge with them and some were too impossible to see yourself with them because of their childishness or whatever. Of the people I recently met, there is this some one that made me go beyond what I want. No, this person may not be perfect, at least not on the physical aspect nor on the personality, but I didn’t have control on it! It made me realize that once you catch the disease, all of your preferences will be put into none sense! The disease of love is something I can never seem to understand all these years knowing and living about it. Once you catch it, you’ll never know what’s coming. It was a dilemma to me the first time I realize that I was going beyond what I wanted. But then again, as days pass by, it was becoming beyond my control and I finally gave up trying to control it. If there is something that would make you go beyond what you want, then therefore, it really means a lot. You’ll go beyond what you want, what you prefer and what you’ve always day dreamed about. The next thing you’ll know, you’re just so lost inside.

The striking thing that I recently learned in the field of this very complicated thing called dating and love – or whatever you wanted to call it – is that you can never be sure that all would flow into the way you simply want them to flow. My heart was once again run off by a raging train. There were no early warning device, no alerts, and no nothing at all. And what’s worst was that I wasn’t expecting a dead end from something I really believed that could work out from all of these years of wanting to finally find what I lost years back. I tried to swim the deep waters, and I think I drowned because I wasn’t able to check its depth before I plunged in. This recent experience hit me straight, realizing that even the innocent creature in the world can be cruel, or even the prettiest rose even have thorns. It’s like seeing a beautiful flame, and I was so deceived by the warmth of the light, and I just wanted to be so near it but I just got caught in its bright and warm flame!

Lesson learned from this experience is that you can never dictate fate on who to give you, on who to love you or who you are to love, for who ever comes your way would sometimes be the least that you expect to come at the most unexpected moment and may do the unexpected thing. You can never too choosy who to care about and who would break your poor heart.

October 9, 2009

5:19 AM

Singled Out!

2009-10-16T11:02:00.000+08:00

September 2009 marks my 3^rd year of being out of the commitment scene after almost 4 years of relationship with a special person who I held dearly in my life. I have been in and out of the dating scene with random people from all walks of life, various ages, and from various fields. Not that I am choosy when it comes to people but I seem not to find what I really wanted from all those people that I met.

One of them was this guy from the computer shop, a technician, who I met when I accidentally spilled my food all over my laptop’s keyboard. Well, he was cute, tall and kind (I think all are). We went out handful of times, I tried to work it out with him, but I can’t seem to find that spark! So I decided to stop seeing him because I didn’t want to spend his time as well as mine for I know it was a dead end for him and I. Anyway, I enjoyed the motorbike ride and meeting his family. He was too childish for me, and btw I was also alarmed by a statement that he really is somewhat childish from one of my good friends from their village that really added up to my decision to actually stop seeing him. The next one was this girl from the net that I met, I was just intrigued by her upon seeing her profile on one of the online groups so I sent her a message. From there, we constantly messaged each other, hoping that it’ll be something more to it. But to top it all up, I was surprised to know that she has a boyfriend. At first, I was like “c’mon now, just walk away”, but I still gave it a shot. Met her up and we had a great time together, which was by the way, the first and last meet up we did. She was bubbly, and happy to be around with, she was amazing. But I remember exactly this particular time that I really got jealous of the boyfriend that really made me decide to actually stop doing what I was doing. I never wanted to be the “other one” in a relationship; I think I deserve more than that and that I am still not that desperate to be. So again, I drifted away. We are still in contact with each other but I think there’s a very clear line that determines where we really stand, and I don’t see that line being crossed any time sooner. Sure there was moments of sparks to that, but it wasn’t enough to make me break my principles (which is “I will never be the other ONE” on a relationship coz I’ve been there before, but unfortunately, I was the one cheated at; no good at all!). The next one was quite funny coz he was just younger than I, he was just 18 when I met him. I felt like I was to commit a crime for dating a guy that age! (LOL). He is half Swiss, you can only imagine how handsome he is. But he’s a momma’s boy, and I can’t picture myself around with that kind of person. I was like saying to myself that the thing that his mother doesn’t realize is that not too long, sooner or later, he will date and marry. I feel like due to this, his son wasn’t really able to explore the big world out there and that he is missing a LOT! I met him once, but he had to run off after some chit chat coz he was headed back to his class. Oh, and did I mention that he had his own driver? I realized what a cute brat, with a face of Polo Ravales, he could be; but I didn’t think it’ll work out for me. The next was a government employee on a nearby city. Well, he certainly is handsome who looks like Derek Ramsey but not that tall. He also had a motor, we rode our way round town after watching a band and dining which I enjoyed but I felt smothered by him and I don’t want that, especially if it is something physical we are talking about! Good thing I didn’t let him pick me up nor drop me off home, I think he has this tendency of being a stalker! I felt pressured so I decided not to see him ever again after 3 times. Up to date, he still is bothering me in SMS every now and then. There was even a time last year where I got fed up and straight forwardly asked him to stop, but he responded as if he didn’t mind what I said, and I really hated that! I admire guys who built houses, a real are macho, with his pick up truck. One of the other guys I’ve dated was some sorta like that. He was an engineer, from a family of engineers, a real maginoo, and mabait (no doubt about that), oh, and did I mentioned 11years older than I, but I really didn’t mind that. We went bar hoping from Angeles to San Fernando, from night till morning, he has this good humor that will make you enjoy his company. But of all, he’s the only one that I trusted to pick me up and drop me off our house; not all felling special or what, but I just don’t simply trust people. Well, it’s not just for me but for the security of my family as well. Reason that I think it didn’t worked out is that as for all the past dates I had, I just didn’t felt the spark. And so, I had to move on. Of all the people I dated, this one that I met from the bar one gimik nights with friends was the one I frequently went out with. He was kind and very outgoing, I likes seeing movies that I liked to, doesn’t mind if I wanted to go food tripping after my duty, he’s always there even with just short notice (like an hour before the time we are to meet). I enjoyed movies with him, playing in the arcade, enjoying on a real good meal and all other stuff. Drawbacks with him is that he is simply not that guy who’d let his ego down for a while, and be humble for just a second; which makes me think that guys, perhaps mostly, are like that. I really thought that he was the next one that I’m going to see myself with for sometime but again, I didn’t felt like committing myself (again).

In and out of the dating scene as I had been for this past years, I’m a bit used to it. With a hopeless romantic heart and an ideal relationship pictured on my head, I have tried to open up to other people, but I always find a reason not to pursue; Or on the second thought, maybe it’s not yet my time to meet the right one. Actually, I wasn’t really looking for it anymore; I just decided one day to stop chasing on the butterfly and maybe, just maybe, one sunny day, when all is fine and dandy, it’ll just come to me.

the blogging thingy!

2009-08-25T20:32:00.001+08:00

I’ve been blogging since college and I didn’t know why I stopped one day (was so preoccupied by the boards perhaps). I’ve always had a lot of thoughts that I wanted to write about but I somehow can’t manage to take time to sit on my table and type them into words. Anyway, I missed doing this! And it’s been like history since my last post (at least the last post that made sense at all). In all fairness, I realized a lot has change as I was browsing through my previous posts! Time really flies fast eh?! I am now a nurse (a registered one – Hurrah!), single (ready to mingle – just dates and more dates…period.), working (without pay) but somehow manages to get an extra cash (needed to! Have to!) , still very much with my parents, loves movies but still not watching much local stations (I used to think then that I was just busy at school, but now I know certainly that was just an excuse), I get most of the news through the net (I’d rather read than watch them – Oh yah, I remember watching local TV news without any news to be happy about! Saddens me.), I don’t get late anymore (not that much!) and I’m not impatient (not that much as well!), also, I now go to gym regularly (two thumbs up!) Surprisingly, I enjoy going even if its filled majority with people who’s ages are older than mine (used to be with my best bud but she stopped already, she now attends medicine school – best of luck!). One of the people there had a Stroke at the age of 50’s, now he’s all well, and mind you, he’s in great shape, looking like just in his 40’s. I just realize by doing this rather than be sedentary the whole day at home, at least it is something that will make me healthy (to be fit is just secondary! LOL! I’m not hoping to get any thinner, coz I think I’m at my best figure and if I loose more, I might end up on the floor at OR– that I don’t want to happen ever, I’m in between 112-118lbs, BMI not exceeding 24 – just enough), --- a thing for certain, something/s has changed! (but not all… -- not the time to be mushy! )

As of this moment, I sit in my room, lit only with the screen of my laptop, feeling all in love (in love with the unknown _ “DAW”) with this song (listening to Corrine Rae’s “Like a Star” over and over again!). I just updated my playlist, 50 songs took the whole afternoon of downloading! I’m sure my mom’s laptop has a worm (cause I used limewire, still not that good with using torrent – a lot people had told me it’s safer than limewire), I wasn’t able to scan her hard disk before shutting down (she was grunting already and I just have to hurry, I didn’t want to use mine, hihihi). Going back to what I really want to share, I just can’t stop laughing to myself from dance session at the gym – the first class I took a while ago. We were taught of some steps. Getting all giddy up to do them with all grace, I thought we were to dance a RnB song (cause all the while, the instructor plays RnB – was just a teaser!) or something with a good beat that fits perfectly with the steps, then the instructor (I tell you, she’s one of the best that they have!) plays Poker Face. Haha. As the chorus approaches, I was reminded of Lady Gaga’s trademark outfit, an out fit I never get if it is meant for aero classes – such as the one I am having – but I never wore such! Haha! – or if it were ever meant for swimming classes! I’m still confused though! Then I look back, trying to contain myself, there was this someone wearing same outfit. It was hilarious! I just can’t stop giggling inside! Talking about Lady Gaga, her music are nice (I appreciate them, House/ Dance music is one of my fave genres) but I just don’t like much her outfit. I remember my brother told me they featured her on TV arriving at the airport with such outfit (the one I was talking about that I ain’t sure if it were for an aero or swimming class). I’m pretty sure that I am not the only one who’s curious (am I?). It’s just not the outfit for the plane. Which gives me a flash back on how tight the decorum on our school was back in college (saying “back in college” makes me feel soooo old). No sleeveless, skirts, nail polish (but how come the CBA’s can?), long hair for guys (just like in high school), even havaianas (fake or genuine – LOL. I never bought or wore one fake nor genuine; I think it is impractical to pamper your feet with a SLIPPER tagged at a thousand peso, or even just half of it). Any how, schools are schools, and airports are airports! They are two different places, with two different rules on decorum on dress codes. I just can’t take thinking students going to school with outfits as Lady Gaga’s. haha. Kudos to Lady Gaga! Goodnight.

9:53pm August 17, 2009

Baliw na Kagiliwgiliw

2008-12-02T14:57:00.000+08:00

Malungkot ako na Masaya na di ko alam...

Kagising ko, ewan ko ba sa dinamidami ng pwede kong maalala, naalala ko na ados pala ngayon. Biglang pumasok ang mga linyang "are you gonna stay with the one who loves you, or are you coming back to the one you know.. someone's gonna cry if they know they'd lost you, someone's gonna thank the stars above..". at sa kasawiang palad, ako ang iniwan, ako ang umiyak. awang-awa ako dati sa sarili ko.. Ang daming "bakit ganito." "bakit ganun." sabay sisi sa sarili tapos sisi din sa kanya... Pero habang lumipas ang panahon, unti unti kong naintindihan kung anu nga nangyari. Hindi lang pala ako ang may kasalan, di lang din siya, pareho kami.. Hindi ko ikakaila ang natitirang kung anu man ito na nararamdaman ko sa loob, pero sa totoo lang, masaya ako para sa kanya na masasabi ko ng walang bahid na kamunghian o kahit anu paman kahit na ang huling pagkakataon na nagkita kami ay sadyang pinamukha niya sa akin kung anung nawala sa buhay ko.. Masaya ako at walang ibang hinihiling na sana saan man siya ngayon, faithful na siya sa kung sino man ang pinili niyang makasama.. dalawang taon na sila ngayong ados na toh.. nakalahati na nila ang nalakbay naming mag kasama, ibig lang sabihin na talagang nahigitan na niya ako sa buhay niya.

Wala na akong ibang mahihiling pa kundi
sana maging totoo sila sa isa't-isa at wag magkakasakitan..
Matutunang pag pahalagahan ang isa't-isa at wag mag kwekwenta ng mga kamalian at pag kukulang.
Pati na din ang pagiging ma-pride na dapat iwasan.
Mga maliliit na bagay na dapat ipinagpapasalamat, mga pagkakataon na kayang ipadama kung gaano mo kamahal ang isang taong alam mong mag papasaya sayo na di dapat palampasin
ni sa isang araw,
oras,
minuto
o sigundo man..
Mga pagkukulang ko na alam kong na punan na nang iba..

Para sa iyo:
Masaya na ako para sa'yo.. Saan ka man mapunta, kahit bday ko di mo na alam, kahit pati ung pag kikita nating ng Setyember a disisais, alas-dose ng tanghali sa parke na bumuo ng pangarap ko na hindi ko alam kung ma kakamptan ko pa, sana kahit papano, may natira parin kahit konting "ako" sa "iyo". Patawad sa mga pagkukulang ko.. Tao lang din ako, hindi gaya niyang perpekto..

Maligayang bati sa inyo..

Truth about COKE ZERO

2008-05-21T20:45:00.001+08:00

I became a drinker when the soda came out of the Philippine market early this year for the taste really wasn’t like any of the other diet sodas I’ve ever tasted. A cousin of mine sent me a SMS the other night warning that this soda causes Cancer. Even on Samat the other week, I overheard from a group of people (who were talking loudly) talking about the product with the same issue and a while ago while having my lunch with some classmates, it was again opened. So when I got home I was reminded by it.

Background:Coke zero was introduced by the Coca-Cola Company in the year 2005 with the primary aim of replacing the Diet Coke (which I don’t like) with a Coke that contains no sugar but with a taste of the Coke classic. I have browsed through the net and found the ingredients of the product

Carbonated water (as for all sodas right?!), Acesulfame potassium(180-200 times sweeter than sucrose (table sugar), as sweet as aspartame, about half as sweet as saccarine, and one-quarter as sweet as sucralose BUT not containing HIGH CALORIC VALUE), Aspartame, Caffeine, Phosphoric Acid, Potassium Benzoate (just used as a PRESERVATIVE as for most of the sodas in the market) ,Potassium Citrate(used as a BUFFER) ,Sodium Benzoate (also as PRESERVATIVE for its bacteriostatic and fungistatic effects under acidic conditions) Sodium Citrate (acidity regulator), Sodium Cyclamate(30–50 times sweeter than sugar), Calories (0 in 100 ml - the nutrition facts doesn't lie)

What was really controversial from all part of the globe was one of the ingredient: Aspartame, which really struck me coz it’s been rumored to be Carcinogenic (layman: CANCER CAUSING specifically brain tumors—from which my granma suffered, brain lesions, and lymphoma). And very popular among diabetic patients for it is used as substitute for our table sugar, a little amount already is sweet enough to suffice a person’s satiety needs without adding up many calories. I know that its an artificial sweetener and knowing a lot of products in the market today contains aspartame, how come only with Coke Zero it was associated to have caused cancer? So I went further digging and found out from infos that the controversial on its usage had been going on since 1970’s in Europe where there were rumors that some groups of researchers were bribed by huge KNOWN companies (up to this day) to manipulate the actual results – some claimed it to be safe, some say it is not.. And believe it or not, IT IS STILL NOT YET PROVEN.

I wasn’t still contented - and to avoid added frustrations - I went on browsing. Later on, I came across on ASPARTAME’s metabolites (products of it once it reaches our system) – which probably why they concluded such:

Methanol and formaldehyde

Approximately 10% of aspartame is converted to methanol in the small intestine. Most of it is absorbed and quickly converted into formaldehyde (BY PRODUCT of human metabolism therefore may be excreted by our system in small amount). Some scientists argue that it doesn’t affect the body for it may only exist in our system in small quantity – not capable of affecting system. FACT: There is more methanol on fruit juices than our beverages with aspartame. It is later on mentioned that “exposure to very low levels of methanol and formaldehyde have been proven to cause chronic toxicity in humans” – in short chronic poisoning even IN SMALL AMOUNTS.

Phenylalanine

One of the known amino acids (simplest forms of your proteins) from which 50% of aspartame is broken down into this substance. Phenylalanine containing foods are slower in terms of absorption than with that of our beverage with aspartame thereby its fast absorption said to have the potential to radically increase blood plasma level of phenylalanine – it will then compete with other neurotransmitters because it can easily cross the Blood Brain Barrier. IN SHORT: affecting our normal brain activities; also it may cause seizures. BUT NO WORRIES because Large spikes in blood plasma aspartate levels have not been seen when ingesting natural foods. More it is NEUROTOXIC to a growing fetus if level of phenylalanine in plasma of a pregnant woman is consistently high – POTENTIALLY.

Aspartic acid

Approximately 40% of aspartame is broken down to this chemical and high concentrations of this becomes EXCITOTOXIN – causes damage on brain and nerve cells, target site are the areas not protected by the blood brain barrier. Such effects were proven when 1 scientist, Dr. John Olney found that high levels of aspartic acid caused damage to the brains of infant mice, and of course in those years (1970s) a lot of products were on the brink of their success in the market so his efforts and appeals in banning aspartame went into nothing.

CONCLUSION: As for all medications that we give to patients we care for in the hospital setting, we know that all has its draw backs; side effects and adverse effects (even vitamin supplements have) even if we are after having our patients well. And with all the time I spent browsing, sorry talaga, try as I might to find proof (because I also love the soda, 2^nd to pepsi that is) pero there is still NO CONCRETE proof that it really has a significant connection with the occurrence of neoplasms – cancer – to us. But with the 3 by - products of aspartame-presented potential ill-effects, well I think you be the judge.

FACT ABOUT CANCER: one of the leading causes of death world wide (consumed my lola’s life and great grand ma’s – would I be next??). and a lot of products in the market nowadays have ingredients that are carcinogenic (or potentially). Perhaps Cancer may be prevented by living a healthy life – for the same reason why I really admire Chinese people. But what is scary is that ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU HAVE CANCERCELLS IN YOUR BODY RIGHT KNOW? They are just waiting for a que to start their rapid multiplication (- then the fun never ends until your six feet under..)? This stimulus may be the smoke you inhale when you light a cigarette or the chemicals in your carbonated drink, or it can even be the ray of the sun on burning your skin, even the charred isaw that you just bought. Extra careful of your health is important because in this life, you only have one irreplaceable life especially in our world TODAY..

(forgive my grammar and typing, im really tired na.. and i tried to simplify complex words that i came across with while browsing for others to understand)

Questions answered..

2008-03-09T18:33:00.002+08:00

ok, enough of the drama. Now this posting is for another purpose but since I've answered them din naman, maybe it's not prohibited for me to post it in my blog right? anyhows, here it goes>

1. Whole name: Gaylord T. Donato
2. Birthday: June 25, 1987
3. nickname: Gayle, Gay, Goq, Jabbz
4. Motto: “Everything happens for a reason”

5. What urged you to take up this course?

Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to become a doctor. I remember giving my speech on our preschool graduation that I wanted to become a dentist, then when I was at elem, I wanted to become a psychiatrist. Basta health related ang field ng profession. There is also something about the white uniform. (I was bedazzled by its beauty) I grew up with my uncle who’s also a nurse, I remember watching E.R. and Lois and Clark when I was kinder. No kidding and no wonder why I love Superman as well!!

6. Were you happy that you chose this course?

Very much! Even more excited when we were having the professional subjects because at last I was able to understand and uncover the secrets of the human body and other marvelous stuff about it!

7. What obstacles in your life as a nursing student have you encountered that you consider valuable, and that made you who you are right now.

(I rather consider it as a challenge not as an obstacle) Perhaps those were the nights and days of reading books, researching, finishing paper works, and beating deadlines that I believe, I was able to get through. Those were the times that I considered myself like a rubber band being stretched to my limits! Grabe! And yung pinaka recent, I just realized before I woke up, it was my fourth week of going to school and duty 7 days a week. I thought me that if you want something to get done, then you have to do what ever it takes. There was even a time that I forgot to eat for last 12 – 18 hours, I had hypoglycemia when I remembered. (and ate on time since then, somehow)

8. Upon encountering those obstacles was there a point in your life that you felt like giving up?

yah.. my pharma days.. grabe hirap! There were times I felt like crying trying to memorize those tongue-twisting-confusing-generic-brand names of the drugs with their indications! (whew!)

9. what things does other people don’t know about you that you’d like to reveal

Well, I’m a very sporty person, even tried playing soccer during my elem days not to mention I was a varsity player of volleyball and badminton back then. I was also a choir member since 2^nd

10. What things that you love to do that is not related on your course?

grade. I had lots of more to reveal about myself but the time isn’t enough to tell them all, I’m not just your ordinary student with a big-red-bag (some even call me the last of the teenage-mutant-ninja-turtle). So don’t judge a book by its cover.

Outdoors and sports, doing and making music (and not noise), doing and designing ads, computer stuff, computing numbers (but not algebra, more on money matters), deriving formulas (physics!), and driving!

11. What part of being a student nurse do you love most?

Love the part where you get to impart health teachings (which are at a level that our patients would understand naman) and they would just sit there curiously and listen to you attentively! As in they would really listen! (pero naman, factual naman ung ishashare dapat noh!di fabricated.)

12. Now that you are about to finish your course, how do you feel?

Extremes, happy and sad.. Happy kasi at last, I might be able to help out my parents and syempre tapos na sa studies (though I am considering to take up a Masteral some time soon), sad and scared coz I am uncertain whether or not there will be a job out there for me. Sino bang hindi di ba?

13. what are your plans after graduation

Since even we’re willing to volunteer in a hospital and not allowed to do so, perhaps, I’ll just be staying home, and binge over my notes and books to read more, watch my fave tv shows and do my daily jog to keep para di naman masyadong sedentary di ba?

14. If you could describe in one word how your life as a student nurse here in Auf was what would be that word and why?

CHALLENGING! Some people may thought that “Nursing? Kahit sino naman kumukuha nian?” or “Madali lang yan”, but not in AUF! Not that I am saying na mahirap ang nursing sa university natin pero di lang brains ang meron ka to be able to finish this course but also the heart to be humane enough to care for others and hands to serve other people from all walks of life because basing from experience, there were instances na nakahandle ako ng patient na nasa isang malaking suite at patients na nasa corridor. So you really have to be flexible and MUST HAVE the S-K-A! (I hope all of us will be able to carry these traits as we go on in our chosen career)

15. What are the different things that you would never forget in AUF?

I will never forget the cultural (definitely one of the awaited annual events), University days, the proper decorum (which reminds me of high school days) that we all must follow – AUF will never be the same without it. True that there are a lot of prohibitions in our school, but that’s what makes us distinct.

16. What advice / message can you give to your fellow graduating students and to the under graduates.

To my batch mates, first of all CONGRATULATIONS! We made it! Ironically, our graduation doesn’t marks the end, but the beginning of our journey. Our time will come, and good things come to those who wait, with hard work for the reviews and grace from God, let’s go for the 100% for the boards. Sabi nga ni Ma’am Zen kanina sa lobby, punuin daw natin ung nasa “Hall of Fame” – that’s what we used to call it during freshmen days..

Sa mga undergraduates, always be humble, study hard and please give dignity to our white uniform. You may not realize the value and pride of wearing the uniform but as time comes, masasabi niyo rin sa sarili niyo, this uniform is the proof of my hard work and sacrifices studying.

bashed heart.. broken soul..

2008-01-13T02:12:00.001+08:00

He broke your heart
He took your soul
You're hurt inside
Because there's a hole

You need some time

To be alone
Then you will find
What you always know

I'm the one who really loves you baby
I've been knocking at your door

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

I've seen you cry
Into the night
I feel your pain
Can I make it right
I realized there's no end inside
Yet still I'll wait
For you to see the light

I'm the one who really loves you baby
I can't take it anymore

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

You are my only I've ever known
That makes me feel this way
Couldn't on my own
I want to be with you until we're old

You have the love you need right in front of you
Please come home

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

"I'll be waiting"
by Lenny Kravitz

Lenny Kravitz - i'll be waiting

no matter how hard i put it inside my head..
and tried to take it off my chest...
i still can't..
it still doesn't sink in..

my heart still bleeds...

maybe sooner,
i'll learn how to live on my own..
and just leave all of this broken promises and memories behind...

just the way YOU did...

i hate it that i still love you the way i do..

Summer dayz??

2007-04-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

April is already ending near and I haven’t even soaked on a cool pool or felt the warm breeze along the shore which is really depressing cause even if I wanted to, I don’t have the leisure of time! This summer is one of the most stressful and depressing!

My parents are to come home by next week, a week before my regular duty so if we’re still to have vacation, it’d be not as long as I wanted it to be. I’m quite worried though that I’ll soon (and I’m certain I’ll be) scolded because of the cost of the repair of the car that I crashed last December but none the less, I certainly learned lesson from that. I learned not to drive when you are sleepy. Well basically, now I don’t drive because on the first place I still have no car, and besides, my license was lost!

Thesis. Thesis. And more of the THESIS.. Darn it’s really distressing. But anyhow, it’s a challenge that I’m more than willing to finish successfully! Starting from the letters, it’s hard to find the asignatories. You go to their offices early, then they’re not there and if its your lucky day that you happen to see them there when you visit their, still you’re not so lucky after all because you have to wait for 30min to an hour before you could get a PAGE (yeah, 1 page) communication letter addressed for the Chief Nurses of the participating hospital signed by the respective asignatories. How I wish there’d be offices that would just be in-charged of such job. The data collection part ain’t easy as well! Our study is challenged with the time frame because our subjects aren’t just ordinary patients that you would typically see in the hospital or the ward but most often than not, they’re hook on mechanical vents. Since last week, we were working on all the paper works but they just don’t seem to end! GRRRRRR… and up today, we were still having them signed. We were able to pass the letter to the Chief Nurse of one our participating hospital before the office hours closes only to find out that the subjects that we’re after are already six feet under (maybe not literally by this time because they just passed away 1-2day ago, BTW, there were 2 of them). I really was disappointed, anyway, may they rest in peace.. aside from that, last week, there was quite a turmoil within my groupmates. Good thing the fire calmed a little this week. (Hope there’d be a peaceful existence within us…)

It’s really also depressing that my ex’s gone. (Comment: Not again puhhleeezzz… stop talking bout that) Fine, I’ll stop.

I just wish, to get over and done with the thesis successfully and satisfactory, I also wish that somehow, I may be able to enjoy my parents vacation with us and I may not be scolded that bad by my parents for the car and all the expenses at home, and I may be able to unwind a lil bit, even JUST A LITTLE TINY BIT! (I beg the good gracious heavens) before I even go into an academic year expecting lot of work not only at home but also within my social groups… the council.. i’m wishing for a productive year ahead..

Whatever may come my way, if there is really no way that I’m to have vacation because of my priorities like the thesis and other stuff that are needed to be done, well, maybe I can just catch up after college.. wahhhhhh!!

So if you were able to savor your vacation
this summer despite of your work or studies, MAN!
Be thankful enough!! I’m going nuts over everything!

final ado? is it?

2007-04-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

her gentle touch calmed my weary soul,

her voice was the sweetest music i ever heard,

her warmth gave me an assurance i'll never be alone,

her kisses kissed my life's hurt and troubles,

her love meant my life...

but i have no choice........

she left me no choice...

leadership rooted in one's self

2007-04-10T08:27:00.000+08:00

Earlier in my life, I’ve always thought that leadership is only for those people who are popular and charismatic as to what the society used to reflect way back in elementary and high school days in which this stereotyping is also seen in our society at large. I thought of leaders as the sole Big Bosses who shall always be followed by everybody, whose words are never to be weaved and directions are always to be followed. So as I went on with life, I have always given this people with so much reverence and respect the way they deserve it.

Experiences have taught me that the stereotyping that I’ve always believed with for the longest time is not the whole truth about leadership and leaders but rather just a fraction of what I know it is about, some of which I have also proven myself wrong. True that leadership is a prestige that one receives one you had the chance to become a leader but what most people aren’t able to realize is that it also entails responsibilities that are most of the time; weigh far more than the prestige. I’ve also had the chance of meeting different kinds of leaders which would also include those who only takes all the prestige and not the responsibilities in which I can regard to as very immature and irresponsible but they gave me the strong sense to myself to be determined not to become like them.

Because of the irresponsibility of some of the leaders, be it governing a small group of people or a huge society, their constituents tends to lose their trust in them and the sad part is that the upcoming leaders are also affected, thus chaos arises. “Nobody’s perfect” as the cliché goes as it can be applied to every one but we humans, so as leaders, can correct them and learn from them to avoid them from occurring in the future. Taking the responsibility doesn’t only give me a challenge in this chapter of my life but also a chance to serve others. A heart for giving unceasing service to others especially to this who are in need is what I can be proud to say to the whole world that I have in me that (has been cultivated with dedication and commitment through years in my life) gives me the capability to take hold of the responsibility ahead. Nights before the campaign, I had been thinking what I could say to people when I would be facing a question regarding my qualifications to take the position if I ever won and having the previous stereotyping of leaders and low self-confidence in myself, I felt like drawing from the battle. I’m not scholastically inclined, not that popular among the crowd, I thought to myself I don’t deserved it and I even got to the brink of turning back but as I was to make up my mind to do so, I realized to myself that a true leader cannot only be measured by the number of people they know or by the academic awards they had or what other superficial things that most of people nowadays would be looking for in a leader but rather a leader can be measured with sense of responsibility, commitment and their willingness to offer themselves to others unselfishly. And as for me, the commitment and service that I wanted to give to others has given me the courage to go and carry on. So far so good, I was able to receive backstabbing and disputes even at the beginning of the election. At first I was hurt but I know that it’s also a part of the whole thing and I ‘m glad that instead of them making me feel low and discouraged, it further strengthened me to go on with my journey and I can steadfastly only promised them that I will prove them wrong by giving only the best in everything that I do so just bring it on!

One of the things I believe is that leadership is rooted in every being. We must always remember that we are all leaders in our own simple ways. You don’t need a crowd to govern or a prestigious title to be able to become one because the mere fact that one person is being able to lead himself is already a true leader in his own way.

A Duty to Warn

2007-04-07T13:42:00.000+08:00

I know "Duty to warn" is a term for a nurse's responsibility to warn other personnel in the psychiatric ward of the harm that a patient could possibly inflict to them..

Nweiz, I used the same term because i had this particular experience earlier this week that i was just able to confirm today that it was a scam..

Yes, a scam.. i was scammed with a quite huge amount by someone i don't really know.. I was doing transactions via internet before this experience even happened. like i was able to buy stuff like BNEW Usb for my couz and even a new printer scanner through the internet without any scamming or watsoever..

I don't intend to discourage you from making transactions via the net but i just wanna alarm you guyz to watch out for scammers and be sure that the sellers isn't one of them.. Even i couldn't believe that ppol really would do this nowadays because i believe that ppol are trustworthy, but i was proved wrong. I admit also that because of my carelessness that i didn't scrutinize the intentions of the seller, though there had been warnings and signs that i ignored because i easily trust other ppol, none of this could have happened.

what hurts is the fact that money is something i really earned for months. Then i was able to buy my PDA but changed my mind to buy another one only to have the money taken away by a scammer..

Anyway, this can be charged to experience. that's why you are also reading this post because i have a gut feeling that i should warn other ppol before something like this also happen.

I'm still thankful though that its not as big as the one scammed from my old folks that it came to the point that a property of our family was sold. (but still the amount was huge, less than 10k, really earned it for months...)

TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING IS NOT GOOD..

AND That's the problem, i trusted too much...

Thank you for taking time to read.. Hope you gained something from my experience..

Advance Happy Easter!

Swoosh!

2005-07-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

Long time no post! and miss my blog... Many things had happen the past few weeks. And definitely, it's tiring. Eversince the classes started, everything I'm all about is my lectures, my anatomy and physiology tests, my Political Science discussions... blah... blah... blah... But know what, I'm enjoying them! I enjoy being tired..(I know I'm being Hedonistic to myself...) It's not all the time I'm feeling in the mood to study and such, not till' laziness strikes and creates CHAOS!!!!!! Perhaps, from the 1st week the classes started till now, it had been few times I felt lazy, but thank God I didn't failed any quizzes(knock on wood..). I'm just too fraustrated in getting a perfect score in Health Ethics... Everytime we have a quiz, it's just so happen I always didn't studied my lessons, and believe me, if you were only in my place, you'll tell yourself the quiz is just easy... I hope all my fellow batch mates would enjoy this Academic year! hope all of us passes and could keep up with the grades we're maintaining! By the way, thank for all the people who came for my bday! even for those who didn't but remembered my birthday!

The Jeepney Ride,,,~

2005-06-23T15:14:00.000+08:00

I was in the jeepney yesterday. There were two people, sitting close with one another. The guy talked to her, I can see in their eyes as they looked each other, they're inlove. They have something sparkling their eyes, it's like an unexplained joy. The girl in reply answered with a soft voice and a humble smile and I could read her lips saying I love you. Then the guy held her head to his shoulders, as well as her hand into his. Then a bliss of dejection came to me. Sad but true, I was once had that mysterious magic in me. The feeling that nothing would seperate me with that person that I love. But little did I knew then that the person whom I had love for so long and gave my life just left me, left me alone. What's the most funny thing is that it had been a while since that person left, here I am, still thinking about her. Her smile, that sweet voice, her soft hands, her mesmerizing eyes.. I just miss her so bad.. but I can't do anything. She's out of my reach now. As the jeepney stopped and I went down, I, for the last time looked and smile to those two lovers and they simply smiled back at me.. It was just then that I noticed that they have a wedding ring in their fingers. They're married. And I'm happy for them. It's a mission accomplish for them being able to find that right one that would make each of them happy for the rest of their life. I hope she'd come home someday...

sketch

2005-06-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

GUYS, punta kaio ha?

my FIRST DAY FUNK!!

2005-06-14T18:46:00.000+08:00

"Let's do the funk, let's do the first day funk!!!"
YO!!!! (nyahaha!!)

My vacation days are over, and a new semester had started! No big deal for others but for me, it's means no more "easy going" way of studying and staying out late for my tv series (Oh gosh, I'll miss watching Nip/Tuck and Smallville..huhu..) now that we have 3 major subjects,or rather make it 4(Related Learning Experience~which is by the way 4 and half hours straight, Primary Health Care~2 and half hour, Anatomy and Physio~3 and half hours and Health Ethics~I aint sure of the duration) .. it's also our last summer for the next three years to come in our course. If really given the chance and capacity to study more, I would wanted to take up medicine proper and hopefully become a pedia or a surgeon...(That is if I could take it to study some more and if there's no more job opportunities left in this WORLD for nurses????)But who knows right? (all things come from visions and aspirations... libre lang naman ang mangarap)

As for my first day, I could describe it into two words, first, overwhelming... It feels good to know that some students know you either by face or name (for crying out loud,,, WHO COULD EVER FORGET MY WEIRD NAME!!!! It's a fact that the more weirder your name is, the more people would remember your name! HA! and I have proven that to myself.. ) eventhough you don't know them. Even my clinical instructors (what we call our R.N. teachers) know me for having been participating to such activities and seminars last academic year. (at least, a good way to start a new year!!!!). and also it's nice to see some old friends and classmates as well as meet new classmates. Lastly, it's overwhelming for me coz a friend approached me and told me she reads my blog.. (HI JEAN IF YOU EVER HAPPEN TO READ THIS POSTING!~ and also to all other people out there who takes time to read!tanx!!!!) The other way to describe my first day is that I feel like I'm in a roller coaster ride that's about to pass through the curves and rigid slopes of a long track! I'm not expecting our lessons to be easy, but I'll take it as a challenge, a challenge that I hope all of us can over come! (better hold on tight!!! I know with the right study habits and time management, we can over come this things!) Always keep in mind that if there's hard work and initiative with anything else we do in this world , success is surely within our reach! Goodluck to all of us!!!!!!!!!!!

hmmm????

2005-06-09T15:41:00.000+08:00

Qoute that I recieved earlier:

#$Sabe ng madami,
"Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, maghihintay ka kahit gaano katagal."
Sabi ko naman,
"Kahit umalis ako kung mahal din nia ko,
gagawa xa ng paraan..
pra bumalik ako.$#

>>Being the one who was left behind, still I can't take away the love I feel for that person. Few months from now, and it'll be almost a year when that person broke up with me. Heard that person's having one "great single life" as what that person had always told me, and here I am, still inlove. I've done some things I can to get that person back, but it just seems, that person doesn't love me anymore.. It's a fact, that person doesn't love me anymore. It just pains me. For years, I had tried to hold on no matter what comes our way, then just out of the blue, bahm! It's just so sudden. But a true love never EVER gives up. and I believe in that. It also doesn't keeps track on what sacrifices it had made. It'll always stay around.. Though I know, that person's not coming back, I can't deny the fact that somewhere in me, I'm still hoping that that person would. Something in me still believes that I'll still see a day when that person's with me in a one fine day. I don't know what's ahead of me, I'll leave the answer to fate.....

BEST SLEEP EVER!!!

2005-06-03T06:01:00.000+08:00

Woke up today at round 4am. And I slept yesterday at around 5pm. I came from the university hospital to have my medical exams and thank God it didn't took me that much long to finish. It seems to me that for the first time, I slept for about 12 hours! Record breaking!!! (wink*) Then I woke up, my parents were about to leave the house for their medical exams in Manila. They'll be back tomorrow coz' they'll be visiting Uncle Larry (remember the British guy I'm talking about??) and his family in QC. Now, I'm left with my brothers and our nanny. I'm still sleepy right this moment, but I'll be cutting the grass at our garden later, mom told me to do so since our nanny seems ill, and besides, I don't think she can carry the grass cutter with her thin body.. (JOKE!) But seriously, she seems weak. Heard my lola, who has a brain tumor, had a difficulty in breathing. I'm dying to see her. If only I could leave the house right now to see her, I will certainly go there, but I can't leave my brothers alone at home with our nanny.

I want to do somethings before I finally go back to school, actually this is my last summer (coz' we'll be having no more summers till our 4th year.. just sembreaks..) I wan't to sing out loud with my friends in a videoke, I wan't to see how my friend's baby (my godchild) is doing and at the same time, know if she'd be going back to school, go partying with my cousins again next weekend, spend some time taking care of my granny, go and get drunk (I refused to my dad last time to drink when he asked me last week coz' it's against my diet.. alcohol really make your tummy bulge!!!) and swim (though it's already raining..). I still have a week left before schooling starts. And I just hate my schedule. One and half hour for our lunch break is too much for me. Perhaps an hour is just fine, but adding another half hour? What shall I do with that! But anyway, I just hope that I won't get bored and sleepy that much with some of our subjects.. Imagine, RLE (Related Learning Experience) is on Mondays and Fridays which is within a whooping 4 hours and 30 minutes! DARN THAT's WAY TOO LONG DON't YOU THINK???!!! And another is My Anatomy and Physiology class which also is 3 hours and 30 mins., 2 times a week.. I just hope that my biological clock (accdg to psychology, it is the automatic response in our body that would wake us even without an outside force like alarm clocks, noise, etc..) could easily adapt to my sched. (sana lang talaga..). I'm "somehow" ready I could say. I prefer doing something in school even if it would make me so busy rather than staying at home, playing xbox, surfing the net, and watching tv all day long. But if there's one thing that I will certainly miss about the vacation, maybe it's the sleeping time. You can sleep as long as you want, and sleep whenever you want.. I'LL CERTAINLY MISS IT!!!

Silence and Peace

2005-06-01T14:22:00.000+08:00

Silence and Peace

I want to be alone
I want to escape
From all the pleasure and enjoyment
The world could offer
From all the noise that the world have created
I want total silence
And stay away from the noise
Created by the cries of the poor
Who have nothing to eat
Of the young people
Abused by others' greed
Of the wives and the children
Battered by their Environment
And the society...
...Of the sick and hurt
who cannot be cured
...Of the inmates and victims
who seek justice
But how?
How can I be able to hear their cries
...Of the poor, and the young
of the victims of injustice
of the people, of the world
I want to be alone...

FINAL STRETCH!!!

2005-05-26T11:09:00.000+08:00

This summer is quite boring because of the fact that I don't go out that much, at the same time, relaxing, because I have a chance to stay at home and sleep as much as I want.. (except when my mom keeps on nagging me early in the morning..) I had lots of time to watch movies that I want, play xbox or tantra all day long, play my guitar and piano anytime I want.. I'm going to miss these stuff when class starts again.. Especially now, we''ll be having 3major subjects.. (anatomy and physiology, RLE, and Primary Health Care...) I just hope I won't get grades lower than 85.. That's my target grades as always, and luckily for the past 2semesters, I was able to "somehow" attain them.. too bad my average weren't enough for the scholarship grant.. nwy, as what my mom says, for as long as I do my best, it's just ok..

This past few days, I go out everyday, either with my friends, my siblings, MYSELF,, I'm quite tired like right now, my head still aches, I ought to go back to sleep when I got up a while ago, but I thought of my parents leaving early to check their visas so I went downstairs to check 'em up but they left even before I got up. Then my brothers asked me to cook for them crepes for breakfast so I didn't had the chance to go back to bed. Later, I'll be going out again to buy new xbox cds.. the RPG i'm playing is almost finished that's why I have to buy a new one, at least to have something new to play for the next few days I have left for vacation.

I'm really enjoying the last few days of my summer.. I've been going out for the past few days. Saturday - since my dad just got home, we went out shopping for and grocery (twice that same day; one in the morning and one in the evening), then Sunday-of course family day, we went to Church afterwhich we went to one of my fave coffee depots, then to my lola's house (as usual..). Monday approached, my parents invited their long time British friend and his family over to a resort somewhere here and spent the whole day soaking in the pool.. Tuesday, since I really anticipated the episode 3 of the Starwars series, I decided to go out with my brothers and watch it. Mom and Dad went in Manila and reported to their company's office for their next contract. Wednesday, well, I watched movie again but this time with my friends. I spent the whole day with them.. Thursday,, - today-, later, as I've said, I'll be going out again to buy new xbox cds, (hope they're not as expensive as that of what my dad bought.. imagine, 25$ for just a Spiderman2 original cd??!!!) and I'm planning to visit Carmelite coz' I wasn't able to go for few weeks now and I had broke my Wednesday sched for a visit there. Tomorrow, Friday, my cousins and I are ready to dance the night away, we'll be going out and partying! I'll sleep over their house.. then Next week, I''ll be going to a friend's house fiesta celebration.. for the next days, I don't know what's in store for me.. One things for sure, I'm going to enjoy this last few days before all the lousy lectures of Anatomy, those intense discussions etc., etc.. ADIOS!!!!!!!!!

Untitled

2005-05-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

My dad arrived few days ago for a vacation for 3months here in the Philippines. And yesterday, they invited some of their friends over to spend some time together. Particularly, it was Tito Larry (who's a British by the way.) and Tita Lou. While in the car on the way to the resort, Tito Larry asked me what course I'm taking up, and I told him Nursing. The first thing that he had thought is that I want to go overseas that's why I'm taking up that course but I strongly told him that it wasn't really my plan. I answered him, "No, I don't want to go overseas.. I wanna take up medicine after my nursing course, unless of course my dad wouldn't allow me to. I'd rather stay here in my country than be alone abroad at the same time earn a lot. Never mind the long years I would be spending in studying.." He then answered me that I'm just one of the "VERY" few (take note of the qoutations) people that would say that. I became sad after he said that. I just realized and asked myself, is this the same perception of foreigners to all Filipinoes? Are we that desperate that other countries sees us as if all people who are trying to finish their studies all wanted to go abroad and leave our country?

Ok, I would admit, my parents do work abroad and they have their own reasons. Reasons that I think are similar to other Filipinoes who are working abroad. And primarily, it is because they pay far more better salaries abroad than in our own country. My parents are working not as an Engineer or a doctor or whatsoever work that requires titles and degrees, but rather musicians.. Yep, you read it right, musicians. But don't ever get me wrong, I'm proud of them because for years, they have given us good, or should I say, GREAT life (note the superlative "GREAT"). My dad is an undergraduate of HRM and my mom is a graduate of Business Mgmt. at the same university I am going to right now, but they work as musicians abroad. Thanks to the talent of my grandparents (who were also musicians on the father's side), I was never sent to public school ever in my entire life.

Would you believe that even for applying as a janitor here in our country, they want graduates from college? I could remember last summer, to be able to realize how hard to earn money and to have my first summer job, I tried applying in one of the fastfood chains in our country, they want college level applicants. Why college level applicants when all you've got to do is to serve food? The work is a bit tiring physically and mentally, but guess what, the salary is just a whooping 21.00 PHP per hour!!! I could remember my dad telling me that in America, it's $5/hr. My point here is that this is one of the reasons why we can't blame people going abroad to work. BUT not all.. Not me. If only possible, I wouldn't want to leave our country. (But who could tell what's going to happen in the future?) Anyway, I just REALLY hope that this image that most people from other countries entails with us Filipinoes would eventually change (just like the perception of my dad's British friend). Millions of our fellowmen sacrifices themselves to go abroad to earn more than that of what they could earn here in our own country. They take their chances in the hope of giving their loved ones better life, but we can never blame that.. It's really true that Filipinoes are clever,skillfull and intellegent, but reality bites, some use it to aggravate others in a way that instead of helping their fellow Filipino to have a better life, they worsen it. Thus, rich people becomes richer and poor people becomes more poorer.. What happened to our country?? WAKE UP people!!!

DETENTION!!!!

2005-05-18T18:06:00.000+08:00

Summer is almost over and just a few weeks from now, classes will start again. 1year down and 3more to go,(unless I will be continuing medicine that is...nothings certain anyway..). This past few days is like detention in school only it is here at home. The phone line is dead, so as the internet line is interupted, you can't play xbox as long as I want like before, neither Tantra on line, I also ran out of load on my mobile phone and not even one in our neighboring stores sells one (SUN kasi..), the guitar amplifier overheated (I forgot to unplugged the switch.. dumb me...), I can't talk well at home lately, my mom and I had petty fight and all I can do is be in my room almost the whole day! Perfect! Now it's sounds like I'm really in detention right? But the thing is I didn't do a single bad thing for me to be punished like this.. I hope when dad arrives this weekend from Australia, things would get better, especially the mood swings of my mom.. really irritates me...

A quiet night at the shore…

2005-05-18T18:01:00.000+08:00

Beyond this endless horizon,
All I see is darkness everywhere,
Feels like my existence is without a reason,
Every breathing moment is almost out of air.

I walked through this seashore,
Longing for you; the one I adore,
Yearning for that voice that would take away all my worries,
Craving even for a trace of your grin.

In this silent place,
I could hear my heart's voice raise!
It screams out for your loving,
In my dreams you I made myself believe you’re soon coming,
I can’t fool my mind, I know my heart’s only lying.

The memory of you in my head always lurks,
Those promises of forever that your lips then uttered,
That promise of love to me you mutter,
I know now it's gone, and all these to you don't matter.

It has always amazed me how to you I deeply fell,
"I still love you" this much I could tell,
I know my heart just wouldn't stop inspite of this woe,
even if I know there's no more love you feel,
I just really hope by the end of this poem you know,
My heart won't stop loving you and it'll always will.

PGMA to be blamed??

2005-05-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

(From Ch2's Correspondents)

When you see Filipino people on TV news complaining about their economical status in life and blaming it all to the president, would you consider them rational? Kailangan bang isisi ang lahat sa presidente ultimo ang pag-taas ng gas? Hindi ba parang mali? Maybe, in a way or another, the president has something to do with the decision making, but it's not SOLELY her fault why their lives are miserable as it may seem for them! For me, they are being so unreasonable. They shouldn't be blaming it all to the president! Let's face the fact that many of our fellow Filipinos are very lazy. They want their lives to be better yet they don't work for it as hard as they could, all they do is to blame others for what they are going through, for this instance, the president. Many people from provinces think that Manila is a city of full oppurtunities, they are hoping that by moving from their provinces to Manila, their fortune in life will change. No wonder it is the most populated city in our country where poverty is one of the common problem along with the high crime rates and heavy traffic jam everyday.. Anyway, going back to what I was saying, according to one of the Political analyst that they had interviewed on the documentary, eversince Aquino and all other following presidents, our country is not developing, rather, it turns out the opposite. We indeed have colorful political history like that of the People Power Revolution that amazed all other neighboring countries(even the far ones), but now, where is it? We fought so hard to win our democracy and independence from the hands of the foreing occupants and dictatorship. In our time today, kapwa Pilipino laban sa kapwa Pilipino na ang nangyayari. An example of this is the corruption that occurs behind our government, and you ask where does the money come from, sadly, it's from the pockets of the tax payers. It's like a big chain of reaction. Filipinos pay high taxes, The government gives millions and billions of money for road projects, blah blah blah, Then here comes the great politicians who were corrupting the money that the people paid, so as projects where those money should be utilize will be postponed because of bankruptcy, and once again, another failed project and all to be blamed is the head of the government, the president.. Hay,, if only people will help each other, perhaps, our country could catch up with the other Asian countries or even the whole world. We are people gifted with great wisdom and knowledge, but sad to say, some people, wheteher politicians or businnessmen or just an ordinary factory worker, don't use them in a good way. If we still don't cooperate with our government and abide it's law, the price of oil will continously be more expensive, public roads will be sold to private firms (a good example of this is the NLEX and the Coastal Road sold to a private MALAYSIAN firm..), everything will be more expensive! "One thing leads to another".. good thing to another good thing; and so as bad thing to another bad thing. IF you're one of the people who blames the president why your life is like that, why the price of everything goes sky-rocketing, C'mon, it's not entirely her fault, (e khit naman siguro si FPJ pa ang nanalo, it'll not change a thing, perhaps, IT COULD BE WORSER!!!). Maybe the main key to solve the problems of our country is COOPERATION and DISCIPLINE.. I know it's not easy at all, but if we just take one step at time, who knows?

SumMeR wiT fRenDz

2005-05-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

We're in Isla de Galeon..

ReCaP!!!!!

2005-05-08T20:36:00.000+08:00

My freshmen year is quite nice for me. I had a good start for my next few more years in college. Well, in terms of my subjects, I'm thankful that they're not that tough yet!(haha!) I had enjoyed my Philosophy classes in which I really learned something!, my biochem classes(gosh! my fave lesson is about the Nucleic Acids! I was quite surprised that I got almost a perfect score without studying that much! tanx' to the very clear discussion of my Prof.! UNFORTUNATELY, I think almost all of my classmates aren't listening... Grrr... As always...) and also my Zoology(it was like an introduction to our anatomy subject but the anatomy is more sophisticated and well-detailed when it comes to the particular systems or parts of the body.). If there's a subject that I least like, perhaps it's the Filipino. Some of my friends to whom I had told them that I hate it would say ,"Filipino lang yan' noh!!!". But what can I do! my Professor in that subject gives very hard QUIZes!!! even though sometimes you're really prepared for the quiz, then out of the blue, the type of quiz you expected isn't the one that she'll give! gosh! and another thing, my professor really expects too much. Especially from me, that I don't know why.. Anyway, I also enjoyed my PE classes, particularly the ballroom dancing! HAHA! (We WON!!!!) Many were quite surprised seeing that I could dance.. (Hidden talent!hihi!)

One thing that makes this past 2semesters good is that I gained a lot of new friends, in or out the room. I wasn't also expecting that I would be voted as the president of my class at the beginning of the 1st Sem. That somehow paved way of me becoming officers of different organizations. Like the English Club, CYO, and COR.. Last Febuary, I was also SUPPOSED to run for the Student Council of our College, But I didn't have enough guts to do so, to be honest, I was quite afraid of losing. And that I might not be able to meet the expectation of people round me and it has also something to do with my heart broken again... Anyway, I still have few more years ahead of me. And in those years, who knows?

A month from now, a new semester is ahead of me. I got all my scheds and subjects, and I'll be taking up my Anatomy and Physiology (3 and half hours straight!!!! 10:30-2:00pm; 2days a week..), Primary health Care (to be frank, I don't know what's is all about!!!), Related Learning Experience, and I also have Politics and Philippine Consti. (I'm wondering what's the connection?? it interest me though..) etc.. etc.. GOSH!!! some of my classdays will be from 7am till 5pm! I'm excited that I will be busy! It's better than staying at home and thinking of your fraustrations over someone that eventually would lead to blaming myself and asking myself questions that I don't know what to answer! HA! In addition to my enthusiasm in this coming semester, the heavens heard my prayers.. Cause Kei is still my classmate!! At least, I have an inspiration despite of my despair over the other one.. (I don't want to talk about it! I know wherever that person is, masaya na xa...) They say that when God closes the door, He opens a window... That's what is in that window..

I hope everything will be smooth sailing through the coming months. Good luck to all....

blah// blah,,, blah....

2005-05-04T01:41:00.000+08:00

Once again, I'm here, seated infront of my computer desk listening to Mariah's cd that my dad gave me. Few days from now he'll soon be home! And another day has passed by.. Life is passing by in a blink of an eye (speaking of eye, I got an eye irritation on my right eye. I have sore eyes!), and you'll never notice, soon you'll be dying.. Sad but true right?

Just yesterday, my brother celebrated his 11th bday and we went in the cemetery, because it was also my great grandma's bday. My family and some relatives had this "picnic", if I must say,. Anyways, it's nice to see how some people still get to remember dead people's bdays. I had few memories with my greatgranma (on my mom's side) when I was still at 4 i guess? I could also remember that day she was buried, I asked my lola why she slyping so long? and I was told that she was already tired and she has to rest for good. Ofcourse, that time, I wasn't aware that she's gone for good. ( I could remember Nicholas say in City of Angels that "People die when their bodies give up...") And just before we left the cementery, I even asked for my lola to by me a popsicle.

Have you ever been amazed how children are gifted with such innocent intelect? if ever given a chance to be like that forever, would you rather take it? or not? If were asked, perhaps I would. SO that I won't be feeling so much pain from loving someone, so that I wouldn't be put up in so much responsibilities, and all I'll care about is my food, my toys.. But in contrary, perhaps, I woudn't take it. If a person will not nurture his being, he'll be stucked and he'll never learn things that he should. Life will not on. I'm just amazed by how does a person's mind, from a complete state of Tabularasa, be enhanced to an intellect with such power.Power to think, to act, to rationalize. to see things in different way? and to discover what's beyond. Isn't it a wonder how people grow? But they could either grow for the betterment of their being or the opposite. I think this is what makes us very different from all other beings in this world. We are gifted the tendency of enhancing our mental capacities and all other factors that completes our being. Then again, there are those people who don't use their gifts in their lives.

My mentors,,,

2005-05-03T13:55:00.000+08:00

Rarely do students appreciate their teachers, and some even don't care about them. But for this last academic school year, I just thought that I am lucky enough to have such professors and instructors, even though some of them give us hard times in our academics.. Some students see a good teacher if he gives TOO much considerations, doesn't sets up short deadlines, doesn't gives loads of paperworks and not to mention tests. But in my perspective, a good teacher cannot be measured by what his title is nor the difficult lessons and hard to understand lectures that he gives to his students, not also by the grades he bestows to his students. Rather, it is what he teaches his students outside of the four corners of the classroom. Don't miss the point of what I'm trying to tell, but ofcourse, the long discussions that we must be attentively listening to and the hard questionaires we must answer correctly really makes a big impact to our grades which reflects our academic performances. Numbers that in a way, would be the basis of our future, or even our career. But grades are just numbers. There is a distinction between merely knowing the facts and knowing how to apply them. Knowledge is very different from wisdom but both are significantly important. How would you make use of knowlegde if you don't know how to make use of them in the real world and in contrary how would you make your wisdom be put into action if you don't know the facts?

There are many criterias that tell how good a teacher is, but for me, one of this is being able to impart their students with something that can be learned not only inside the four-corners of the classroom but also outside where the real world is at and being able to put into actions the facts that the professors and instructors had taught. And that is what real learning is all about.

Mr. Brian Roy Sunga
>1st Semester: Cultural Anthropology
>2nd Semester: Philosophy of Man
Former Semenarian turned teacher! Most of his girl students have crush on him. (cute daw). Some may also find him masungit. Since he was my teacher for 1whole year, I could say, last semester, he was very considerate to my classmates but "maybe" because of the abusive behavior that they showed to him, he became more strict, but I think they, or should I say, WE deserve it. (HEY!don't get me wrong, I'm not like them! maybe at times.. but not at all) He gives hard quizes. Imagine almost 7 to 10 pages of hand-outs and he'll just give 10 to 20 item quiz. Anyway, those quizes are quite challenging for me. In a way, he's friendly. I've learn a lot from him I could say!

Mrs. Remedios Gonzales M.A.T.
>2nd Semester: General Zoology
I am proud to be a student of this lady! Very intelligent! and KIND! A graduate of B.S. Bio at UST and in the same University, she earned her masteral's degree as a CONSTANT scholar! (o diba??) Some students find her boring, but for me, certainly not! If only they'd listen very well that is. Another fascinating fact about her is that in the age of 60+, she still is very active, physically and mentally! A down to earth kind of person, very considerate, and unlike other teachers and professors, she gives those students who doesn't do much good in their academics a chance to catch up even those who don't mind their studies very well. Last time I saw her and spent time to chat with her for a while, she was pleased to tell me (the same goes with me) that she is a relative! She's my grandma I guess? I think her husband is a cousin of my grand ma on my mother's side (De Guzman-Gonzales Clan). It's a small world after all!!!

Mr. Jay Pajarilio
>1st Semester: General Psychology
He's a good friend and a good teacher! He doesn't care much about grades. Cause for him, grades are just merely numbers! (AS what I you had read a while ago) He's someone you could tell all about yourself! and I'm glad to be a good friend with him. He knows so much about me. Just a few days ago, together with some of my other friends, we drove to Dila-Dila (Somewhere in Guagua I guess??) for a fiesta with him! such a nice guy.

Mrs. Kerry Jane Ruadil
>1st Semester: Inorganic Chemistry
She is a very witty person for me! One of the most considerate instructors I had these Semester. What I like about her is that she wouldn't skip into another chapter or lesson knowing her students couldn't catch up with it, even though it would take more of her time, what matters to her is that her students fully understand what she teaches. She also gives us tutorials before we have our major exams even to those who even understands the lessons already!

Mr. Reynaldo Bundalian Jr. R.M.T.
>2nd Semester: Organic Chemistry
One of the Board Topnotchers of our University having his name published in the hall of fame of the top notchers that our University had produced over the past years! One of the interesting facts about him is that he entered college at the age of 14! YUP! FOURTEEN!!!! Would you imagine that at the age of 19, he was already a Registered Medical Techonologist and teaching students who are almost at his same age. (What a genius!) and he also went into the same school where I went to in high school,CS. He likes ketchup very much! (just like me! but he's more addicted to it than me!) He's cool! and even let my classmates eat whatever they like during the dicussion. He's not the typical teacher you'd meet along the corridor! The first time you'll see him, if not only for the uniform of the faculty members, you wouldn't notice that he's a teaching personnel! He looks so young for his uniform. Also very considerate teacher that he always extends our deadline for different projects and paper works for the sake of "SOME" of my abusive classmates~.. One of the crush ng bayan teachers of the students.

Ms. Patty D. Victoria
>2nd Semester: Organic Chemistry Laboratory
I really don't know much about her to be frank. But I know for sure that she is kind and gentle. Even her voice would tell you so. A perfect picture of a Maria Clara I could say. But with all my respect, she's beautiful in and out. At times, she also runs out of patience for my ANGELIC classmates! Who wouldn't do so?

Mrs. Virginia Bautista
>1st Semester: English 01
A graduate from U.P.Diliman (I think most of the professors and instructors are from our University are from UPD, Esp. the Educ dept.), so it gives you a hint that she's quite intellegent! They say, and I could also say, a good teacher and a perfect mom as what our other instructors and professors would say. There are so many times that my classmates outran her patience but when she really got fed-up, she punished those students and sent them out of the room for about a month. Mind you, this incident even went to the office of the dean where I was questioned! For having been the president of the class, my gosh! I was asked to talk to the dean, the College secretary, the Level coordinator, the OSAA, and even the parents of those students who were sent out. I was the mediator between her and my classmates. Perhaps she was right with what she had decided. Actually, before she made the decision, she asked for my opinion and I agreed that some of my classmates deserves to have an ultimatum! I just thought that it's about time to make them realize their faults.

Mrs. Pinky Lumba
>1st Semester: Algebra
The head of the Math Dept., Same as Ma'am Patty, I don't know much about her but she certainly is also one of the kindest and down-to-earth people that I met! She will never cease to great you with a smile upon her face!

SOAP OPERAs: WEAKness of Filipinos. SOmehow makes me irritated

2005-04-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

First of all, to those who are fond of watching such tv dramas, whether local or foreign, I'm sorry and please don't hate me for writting this.. it's just an OPINION..

Soap Operas, melodramas, teleserye, fantaserye, what ever!

I suppose, almost every Filipino households are very fond of them, especially those who are included between the above average and poverty line. It's main viewers are often housewives, or even wives who just got home from office at evenings, mga kasama sa bahay (i'm not comfortable in calling them as house maids), and children. According to one of the local TV stations, these melodramas are really for those at home who have nothing more to do after cleaning the house, washing the dishes, doing their laundries or even after a hard day of work from the office. It is as if a "reward" for them. Having been raised in a typical Filipino family, I grew up with the people in our house watching such shows one after the other. It is already a part of our culture that many of us, through the years, have embraced. As a child, you don't have the right to watch what channel you want when the clock strikes at the time of the melodrama that everybody in the house waits for, or else, you'll be scolded or worst, be spanked by your mom in the buttocks! You cannot go outside for they won't allow you to play with your friends nor turn on the tv in the other room, they'll tell you that you're just wasting electricity! You have no other choice than to watch with them and go with the flow. Sometimes, it's even unfair, because after they watch and the TV is all yours, they'll tell you that you have to turn it off because the TV was running for almost the whole day!

Ok, I'll admit it, there was a time when I got hooked on to these TV melodramas. But it was THEN.. When I was still in grade school, When all the story plots of these series are very unique, when every new series looks new with the new casts and all. But again, it was way back THEN. If you'll notice nowadays, almost all other these melodramas have the same plots, the same conflicts,(Family members lost, Plastic surgery, Family Wealth, Rivalry, ETC.!) and ALSO, same OLD casts.. (Parang ang sarap sabihin, "Wala na bang iba???") Also include here the never ending COINCIDENCES that occurs one after the other that leaves the audience dropped-jaw! Not to mention the Foreign Melodramas On my own point of view, they are far more better than ours.Sad but true. It all started from the phenomenal Mari-MAr!!!!(AWW!)I could remember my whole neighborhood going crazy over it!) Followed by different Spanish teleseries dubbed into our own language. Then when a network launched the Asian Novelas (Be it Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese, Indonesian, Korean, NAME IT!!) And it never stopped till' now! It was like a disease that has taken over the whole country!

Sometimes, when I sit down infront of the couch, with everyone at home (our kasama sa bahay, my two little brothers and my mom), I just wanna laugh at them whenever I see them moved by the drama scene from what they are watching! (for crying out loud! It's just a darn melodrama..) There was even a time that during our supper, they were talking about something/someone, that I thought it was the person we knew of, and I tried to join in with their conversation and suddenlly, they just laughed at me because I thought and talked of the wrong person(now the laugh was on me).

At times, I thought why does the story of the melodrama have to long, and very complicated. In some stories, even impossible. Why can't it be just as short as it can possibly be, or why can't the conflicts be solved by a simple conversation and agreements between the antagonist and the protagonist! This is the point where I thought of Soap Operas very irritating! They make the story LONG when they can make it SHORT! They make it COMPLICATED when they can make it so SIMPLE! Come to think of it? Isn't it irritating??

Anyway, this is just about my point of view, I'm sorry if you think I'm so rude in saying these things. But admit or not, I know you've observe that some of what I had said are true right? But mind you, I respect those people who are addicted on them. This is a democratic world right? And I think, I do understand why these soap operas keep on coming through the years. They have survived every breaking news that there was, or problems in our society that had occured. Maybe that's it! They are there to give entertainment to the people who needs time out from this very tiring world! Especially, our fellowmen! No wonder, they keep on embracing these Soap Operas, melodramas, teleserye, fantaserye, what ever!

FACT: Why is it called "SOAP opera"? Soap from the fact that they were originally often sponsored by soap manufacturing companies.

AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-27T23:23:00.000+08:00

Ha! I had watched the season premiere of the Smallville and the Simple Life2.. I had been wating so long for this new episodes.. and it's all worth the wait.. Beforehand, I was also planning to ask my dad to buy me the whole collection DVD of the Smallville series but I just thought maybe it's more cheaper here. (instead I just asked him for a cowboy hat as a pasalubong,,, He's coming home on May. I was quite shock of the price of the leather hat! Wishin' I could have just asked for money.. anyway, thanks dad!) I like the episode of tonight's Smallville.. To be honest, I realized something with what I had watched. It was about how life went on with Clark Kent gone for several months and came back all of a sudden without his memories (including the pain he felt when Lana left for Paris..), with his dad in coma, Lois Lane, by the way, already appeared in this season as the cousin of the dead best friend of Clark, and well, Lana, has a new boyfriend back in Paris.. Clark has new powers in this season. (good thing I had watched the end episode of the last season..) He could fly now and could use his other powers.. Oh, forgot to mention the Luthers.. Lex has found a treasure that was stolen by the Kryptonian Clark (Lex didn't knew it was him) and Lionel (Lex's dad) is still in prison but I think in about few episodes, he'll soon be out. Tonight's episode ended up with Clark having his memory back, his dad recovering from the coma, and meeting Lois in a cementery telling her that Chloe is still alive and Lana discovering that she has this weird sign in her back (Kristin really has a compelling body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). What's next? I don't know really... but I'm excited to know... It's really something to watchout for!

I'm not that emotional when it comes to such tv series or even in movies, but, I somehow could relate on how the story goes.. with Lana happy with his new boyfriend and Clark finally met Lois (he's real partner.) ( eventhough I think Tom Welling really looks perfectly with Kristin rather than the one who played the role of Lois.. anyway, I can't change the Superman story, I'm just a viewer..), it strucked me. it kinda hit me. It spoke to me in my head that simply life goes on. IT SHOULD go on inspite of the pain and hurt that had experienced by a person.

Charmed is also having their new season next Monday I suppose. I've been watching this series eversince I was in Grade 5 in the same channel! Along with Friends.. (I watched Friends in ETC.. Same channel where I watch Simple Life.) If ever you don't have any idea what is Simple Life all about, well it's more like the Extra Challenge.. Only the challengers don't change and turned out they're RICH!!! (it's not a fiction. In true Life, the two GIRLS are indeed wealthy being one of the top5 richest people on EARTH!!!!) I am pertaining to Paris Hilton and her bestfriend Nicole (both are beauty-and-such-a-brat!) It's like a road trip to different small towns of America along with thier PINK (yah, you read it right,, PINK!) pickup truck. They travel without any money, and they shouldn't make use of their wealth along the journey. In every episode, they go to a particular place and stay with a family and they should make money for them to spend. They try different jobs. Typical jobs that for them, having been raised up with a golden spoon in the mouth, are difficult.. Like tonight's episode, they tried to work in a parlor shop. Forgot to mention that they always quite mess up with the side line jobs that they get into..Poor man that had came into the parlor for a wax.. They stipped of his hairs painfully!! (aouch!) and they did a make over to a lady who, in the end, looked like a hooker and a rock star rather than a more lovelier woman. Anyway, they are funny and beautiful and humurous! It's something worth to watch!

It's 4/27/2005, and just 12:19:05 AM. Still it is early for me to go to sleep now. My usual sleeping time is 3am to 5:30am. but I should really try to sleep now because tomorrow I should be energetic enough cause I'm going out with my friends for an overnight at Subic and at prior to that I had promised my cousin that I would help her to audition for the Concert Chorus (which I had done last year and I got in but my mom didn't wanted me to go for it for I might not be able to focus on my studies.. but everything comes along with silver linings and in this case, I had more time for my other activities at school!). I should be up early tomorrow...

something that would make you laugh!!!!

2005-04-25T15:08:00.000+08:00

SULAT NA NAPULOT DAW SA ISANG BAR SA MALATE NA NGAYON AY PINAGPAPASA-PASAHAN SA INTERNET.....

Marjie,
I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you.
Why?
What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakielam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that and then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body but you hate it thoughth your the most preetiest girls he knows about what do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Marie Chan even you are beautiful face to you think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to like you are a PIG, FAT, OBSSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body for that is to a BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.
FROM: THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.
P.S.: Yo say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me.

"When it rains, It pours..."

2005-04-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

For how many days now, I've been trying to sleep early as I could but then again, still I can't, it even got worse than I thought. I slept at usually past 12 like 1 or 2am, but now, I sleep at 5am.. Early isn't it? I just can't sleep.. I hope I'm not an insomiac person(but I think I am).. I slept at 4:00am watching the live coverage of the CNN on the conclave and the announcement of the new pope yesterday and my mom woke me up at 6:30am to drive for her to the market with my tita. So I drove, though a quarter of my mind's still soooo sleepy. Thank God nothing bad happened along the way but I know, I was not quite in the mood to drive coz' I feel so drowsy.. and after going to the market, I went back to sleep. 9:30-1:00pm, I slept, then ate lunch, and 2:30-7:00pm I slept again and just woke up because of the phone that rang beside my bed.. "What a lousy driver!" I thought myself...

Perhaps, I couldn't sleep well everynight maybe because of the things I don't want to think about much. Many questions, many things that I'm trying to avoid..

It rained a while ago. And I just thought, perhaps the rain could answer the questions of my mind, that even I don't know what are. So I went out, stared at the dome of darkness, I wanted to shout though.. but I can't. Instead, I just kept questioning the rain in silence and it just answered me through it's heavy raindrops, and several blows of wind. With every raindrop that fell from above, every raindrop seemed heavy. With every heavy drops that touched my skin, every heavy drop felt so cold. and With every drop that fell into the ground,
my heart could hear every heavy raindrop that shatters my heart into pieces. For 20minutes, it was all raindrops and light winds that eventually made my knees and lips somehow shiver but still I wasn't quite satisfied. Instead of giving answers, the rain and the wind just gave me far more deeper questions.. Uknown questions with yet unknown answers.. I never felt so cold like that, with nobody(/no body) to keep me warm and give me warmth.. with nobody to give me warmth.. I never felt so cold.. I never felt so alone... ; When it rains, it pours..

"With every raindrop that fell from above,
every raindrop seemed heavy.
With every heavy drops that touched my skin,
every heavy drop felt so cold.
and With every drop that fell into the ground,

my heart could hear every heavy raindrop that shatters my heart into pieces."

My thoughts on:

2005-04-18T18:40:00.000+08:00

Merging the STATE and the CHURCH

Last night as I was watching TV, as I usually did whenever I can't sleep, I came across this local TV show and remembered that I had planned to watch it but then, I just forgot to remind myself. It also came into my mind that our instructor way back in High School had once raised this same question to us. As I was saying, naturally, because its a debate there are two panels that will contradict and defend their own reasons and statements. The panel which is in favor of merging the Church and the State is composed of TWO priest and a Congressman Miles Roces from the 3rd district of Manila, who I suppose was raised up from a family very attached to their faith. However, the other panel who were not in favor is comprised of Bro.E.Soriano ( I know you already know him!), Mr.Tulfo(the columnist, I think on PDI, but definitely not his brothers Erwin nor Ben, the other journalist.) and another politician and at the same time a pastor but I forgot his name.

I could say, they are all good, except for one. They all have a very concrete and reasonable statements that they all have defended. Actually, the one of them made me laugh at the same time, it really had made up my mind that somehow, he's at times "out of his league". I'm sorry guys who are a member of his congregation, but really, why couldn't he just put aside his personal issues with the "inglesia ni Manalo" as what he had called the other religious congregation mentioned for several times through out the whole session of the debate! I also noticed that, at times, some of the defenders are caught up in between, they wanna say no and yes at the same time.

If I were included in that debate, I wouldn't allow them to be merged. The records of our human history, in any part of this world, shows some very concrete evidences that these two essential part of our society are certainly immiscible. Both are important, but it can never be merged. A good example of this is the downfall of the Medieval Period. That time, Theocentrism was dominant. Everything was according to what the Church is saying and dictating and the political leaders are also the same people who leads the Church. They had tried to hold both offices, the Church and the State. Don't get me wrong that I'm an atheist or something(I am a Catholic okei?), but it's not the teachings of the Church that has gotten irrational and unjust through out the succeeding years of their dominance, it is the appointed leaders who become very abusive and corrupt. Yes, you read it right, CORRUPTion (which is a form of stealing.. one of the 10 commandments;<"walk your talk"-sir Guina from DLSU on our leadership seminar...>). Another was the time of the Spanish Era in our country. Spaniards have great respect to their Church ( and I believe that it was passed on to us) that's why they are much influenced by the Church Leaders which paved way in giving them authority over the towns and cities they govern. They are given more power to influence people and dictate to them what they are to do than those who are leaders of the towns and cities. Hence, with this unlimited authority, they became abusive ( "history repeats itself.."). It was just after the occupancy of the Spaniards that we were freed from the excessive authority of the Church that was once merged with the State.

My stance towards this issue is that we may never emerge this two but in the contrary, we cannot seperate them completely, I'm in between. One may not jive with the other but there is one thing for sure, it can seek for each of the other's opinion to achieve optimum enhancement for the benefit of mankind; or the Filipino People specifically. Remember, not all legal things are morally righteous and not all morally righteous are legal. One needs the other.

Ang taong walang magawa,,

2005-04-18T18:30:00.000+08:00

Since bakasyon and I hate going out because it's sooooo hot outside, I'm solely staying at home. Of course I go out once in a while but not that frequent; usually, I just go out whenever my friends would wanna go somewhere and my mom allows me to use the car (occasionally lang, ang mahal kaya ng gas ngayon! at pera ko ang ginagamit ko...), whenever there is an important things that I have to check out at school, whenever I drop by the coffee shop and have a cup of Latte after visiting the chapel of Mt. Cramel ( nasanay nako.. nakakamiss ko tuloy **.. ) and whenever I go out biking for few kilometers for exercise and at the same time namamasyal (it's either in the morning or afternoon at about 6pm or so..iwas init... In fairness, masarap magdili-dili pag hapon.. I usually go sa park somewhere and sa LA PIETA!!! ).

INDICATIONS pag nasa bahay namin ako maghapon at walang magawa...

1.) Yung mga tinapay, laging may tira... (Few days ago, nag tuturuan sila kung sinong gumagawa nun, di nila alam na ako yun 'till I finally told them.. hahaha!)
2.) Mga baso ng tubig naka kalat sa bahay... sa study table ko, sa ibabaw ng piano, sa side ng Computer desk ko, sa living room, sa tabi ng TV, even sa CR ng room ko.. KASI KAYA ANG INIT!!!!!! laging nakakauhaw(not dehydrated, wrong term...)! In fairness ang 5gallons of water sa dispenser namin would only last for less than 2days! nilalagok ng mga tao sa bahay ang tubig!!!!!!
3.) Same as cups ng pinag-inuman ko ng COFFEE... naku... sobra din... I drink 3 cups in the morning and 3to4 cups before going to bed.. truly a coffee-addict in a severe case....
4.) Laging may nambubulabog sa buong bahay.... Pag katapos mag-piano, mag- eelectric guitar, after magsawa, TV, pag di pa nakontento, I would sing my heart out that the whole CITY~~~ would hear my irritating voice, then patugtog ng cds ko sa room, pag di pa rin na kuntento, mag Xbox na naka AUXILLARY na parang nayayanig ang buong bahay!
5.) Laging BUSY ang line that's why my dad's complaining why he can't get through the line at sa cellphone nalang xa tumatawag...
6.) Dictionary at mga libro (novels...) na naka-kalat sa bed at study table ko... Past time ko kasi sa tanghali para makatulog is reading... para masanay na rin for the coming years sa pag-aaral...
7.) Madaming T-shirt ko sa labahin... I change my shirt often..
8.) You can find alcohol almost sa lahat ng usually kong tambayan sa bahay. sa Room ko 2, isa bed, other on my desk, sa living room, isa din, and sa taas ng piano isa rin, all of them, usually ako lang ang gumagamit....
9.) Laging puno ang pale sa CR ko ng tubig... From time to time kasi, manerism ko na ang pag-huhugas ng paa... I feel uncomfortable pag di basa ang paa ko.. I know it's a very very bad habit kasi malalamigan yung paa ko or worse, ma papasma, but I just can't stop myself from doing so..
LASTLY,,,
10.) MATAAS ANG BILL!!!! AC pag tanghali, Xbox pag walang magawa, Tantra pag di pa nakuntento, On-line sa gabi at umaga, magtatawag ng makakausap pag walang makausap ng matino sa bahay, ung ampli ng guitar... Kaya nag-rereklamo na si Mama... hay....

the AfterMath

2005-04-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

Self - check:

So how you've been for the last 24hrs.?
-Never been crazier.. Earlier today, I felt like I'm going out of my mind.. I almost cried and felt like something in me wants to shout so loud for the whole world to hear. I really wanted to let it out but the problem is I can't cry, my eyes has no more tears to cry.. In the contrary, it's my heart who cries and no one could hear it. In addition to that, my tummy also crumbles, I didn't ate dinner as well as lunch. It's just now that I noticed that I didn't ate rice the whole day through.

Still thinking of your ex?
-Yah.. that's the reason why I felt going insane earlier today. I think that's a hard thing to avoid. For the past 5 years I've been used to think of that person from time to time. It's like a hobby or rather a part of me already. But believe me, I'm trying to divert my attention to different things..

From the scale 1 to 10, can you tell how much you love your ex?
- No.. It can NEVER be scaled nor measured.. Coz' it's infinitive.. that it'll surpass all the numbers that ever existed..

Who is your "confidante" regarding this matter?
- Of course God, I feel somehow enlightened after praying... My bestfriend, who had never been tired of listening to me over and over.. (tanx a lot!) and my "other" special friend who kind of understands what exactly I am going through...

What are your plans in the coming days?
- First, I'm planning to buy new book/s coz' the Bob Ong book that I'm reading is almost finished, then tomorrow, since it's Sunday (family day), definitely, we're not in the house the whole day through coz' we'll be staying at lolo's house then, I've got all my plans for the next 2to3days.. Monday,I'll be going to school and I'll be getting my class cards and on Tuesday, got this day out with my friends playing badminton, and on Wednesday, reading day...

Lastly, what do you think of him/her now?
- Well, definitely, my ex don't give a damn anymore.. She's way too busy and enjoys her life too much to waste time on me. I think she's numb... And here I am.. Going crazy for that person who apparently don't care at all...

WISH FOR YOURSELF:
- I just hope, I'll get over this... hopefully in time...

learnings...

2005-04-14T16:13:00.000+08:00

I was already finished reading book and I learned some few things from the dialogue of the characters that I'll never forget..

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."

"Maktub" - an Arabic word which means "it is written"

"Something that had happened twice is bound to happen again."

Bluer than Blue...

2005-04-13T09:49:00.000+08:00

I woke up and realize that everything in my life is blue..

My towel is blue,
My pajamas is blue(stripped with white),
My undies is blue(hehehe),
My room is painted blue,
My eyeglasses is framed blue,
My toothpaste is also blue(Close-up),
My toothbrush is also blue,
My mountain bike is also blue,
Most of my bags are blue,
Not to mention my CPU, it's also with color blue,
Same goes with my computer desk,
My cologne is also blue(Rain),
My perfume is blue as well(Hugo and Davidoff),
My bath gel is blue(and really smells good!!also a Hugo),

OF all these things,

UNFORTUNATELY,

I myself, also feels so Blue....

....

2005-04-12T18:45:00.000+08:00

I logged in to my YM 9am,,,
I got this msg,,,
I'll never forget what she said,,,

msg nia @ (4/12/2005 8:42:44 AM): i dunno how to say this but right now, we both know that we are both in a new chapte of our lives and that we need to accept that we tried it two times and it's not working anymore.... give yourself a chance to love again and me, im happy being single.... as i've said to pearl, right now i think of all the things we both missed in our lives because we take our chances together and that i think we both missed ALOT... and so i think that as we are now in our parted-ways try to see what are the things we both missed... and the things we are about to miss if we are still together... just enjoy life... if ever man n magkaroon ka at magkaroon ako, that will be fair for both of us dahil wla na tayong sagutin sa isa't isa right....

msg nia @ (4/12/2005 8:44:03 AM): i know someone there is really for you and be with you for the rest of your life... i will still be here, always here for you if you need me.... as your friend.... so take care of yourself, and if you need me im just a text away.... take care now, and enjoy life....

msg nia @ (4/12/2005 8:47:10 AM): you konw that if talagang tayo tayo talaga, pero as of now, i dont think that phrase is capable of making us together again... and dami ng lumot ng relationship natin and this is hard to recover.... we just have to accept the fact that this time we need to part ways.... enjoy life.... and take care....

I replied: first of all, I'm sorry if you missed a lot in your life for the past few years because of me.The second time we got together, I expected a lot from you which I think is the reason why it didn't worked out. I thought you could do better than that, and I was very wrong. yah, we are now in our different roads, with different plans and wants.. I know, if we pushed harder, the more you'll just get tired of me.. To be honest, I felt like you just played with me last time. Jhu told me that you just got back with me bcoz you want to make amends for the things that had happened then. That it was hard for you to still be in the relationship. I was hurt you know? you could have told me more than anyone else in this entire universe. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. It's all in the past now. I asked God then to give me a chance to love you and after that, I'll be satisfied, and I'm thankful that He heard me but I forgot to be satisfied.. I should be contented now. I had some happiest memories behind me. And thank you for those.. All I ever wanted to do then is to love you and make you happy.There's nothing more I want for you than happiness.. even if it would hurt me.. You have your life without me, and me, i still have to pick up the pieces. This vacation is the perfect time for that. that's just it, maybe, I just really have to let the roads of our lives take us where we really are to go. If someday, we still end up together, I'd be the happiest person ever. But if not, I'll be happy for you whatever you make out of your life and me, I'll keep in mind that I was once happy and that I had to be satisfied with that.. Know that wherever you are, you're always in my head and heart. I'm always around, looking after you though you don't see me. I'll always be here for you to the best that I can... Love is never selfish.. You're free....

GENERAL CLEANING OF MAH RUM!

2005-04-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

Just another day.. Last night, or should I say, just a while ago, I slept at 3am in the morning. basically, it is because I can't sleep. I had watched TV till my eyes popped out! ate every now and then as always.. Darn! that's what I hate during vacations! I eat a lot.. and start to lose track of my diet.. I woke up at 8am, as my daily routine, I cooked my own breakfast since my brothers and my mom went to lola's place and into the grocery. After I ate, I cleaned up my room.. it' s so dusty! it's seems ages ago since I had cleaned up! Got so busy with school and all.. That's why it's just by now that I had time to clean up.

At the same time, as a good habit, every semester, I gather all my Hand-outs in different subjectsand compile them altogether. I just thought that perhaps, one day, I'm going to need them.. There are "mountains", if Ishould say, of various xerox copies and notes, and tests... I just realized, those Xerox machine owners earn a lot because of us students. Haven't you thought of that? I could also remember that SNOBBISH, DARK , LITTLE, XEROX COPY GIRL that I really hate.. FEELING!!!!WE pay a lot then she'll nag any costumer she wants just like that! That's why at times, I'd rather move into another xerox shop rather than to talk to that SNOBBISH, DARK , LITTLE, XEROX COPY GIRL!!!A lot of the students allowance are spent in these papers... I can say, they are very useful to me! And in a way, I don't regret spending such for these pile of papers, but the question is that, ARE ALL STUDENTS USE THEM FOR THEIR STUDIES??? I mean, for about a year of being a president in my section and being in-charge of these pile of papers, some students don't use them in a good manner.. I also noticed that in High-school, whenever we were to have our exams, the xerox shops are filled with students who are all in a rush to have their other classmates' notes xeroxed. I admit, I'm one of those in high school, but as i could remember, most of the notes that I had xeroxed are in my math subject.. I remembered Ma'am Au Serabia shouting at me because I had slept along with Carl, my seatmate, during her class.. anyway, I learned something from her.. There was even a time, when it was the ONLY, take note, ONLY quiz that I had perfectedin her subject, and just because I had to forgot my name, she divided my score into 2!!! My tutor then was Mrs. Pangilinan along with my best bud. what a story...

So here I am now, sleepy but I'm about to take shower and go.. I'll meet my barkada at 4pm, we'll play badminton as usual, only the time was change because we'll be playing along with Jhu's sister. It's our 4th day this week I think.. I kept tracking my weight, still it had no difference at all.. Just the same... Till next time! CHOW!!!!!

ACCURATE infos,URGENT FOR BSN1-2(also for CON STUDENTS)

2005-04-07T17:53:00.000+08:00

TO ALL BSNI STUDENTS:
Just a while ago, I had talked to our FORMER Level Coordinator, Ma'am Rosales (Ma'am Sy is in Manila.) about the RELEASING OF CLASS CARDS.. WALA PANG EXACT DATE.. APRIL 15, don't be mis informed, CHECKING LANG YUN IF OK NA BA ANG MGA GRADES.. I had also asked Ma'am Allapitan why is this so, and she says that it because some of our instructors haven't submitted the final grades.. (mind you, our college is handling many students,not only us, in addition to that, the upcoming freshmen students..) be patient enough.. just wait for further announcements.. or if sinisipag kayo, you can drop by our college office anytime.

TO ALL BSN STUDENTS OF ALL LEVEL:
ACCDG TO Mr. Carreon,
here are the ffg dates of our enrollment:
BSN 1----------------------- May 2 - May 20,2005
BSN 2(tayo 'toh)--------- May 9 - May 27,2005
BSN 3----------------------- May 30 - June 10,2005
BSN 4----------------------- May 30 - June 10,2005

TO ALL PHILO STUDENTS (ALL SECTIONS) under SIR BAROY:

A. HOPELESS CASE (Grade:70)
Blanco, Alexander Ferxez B.
Bognot, Katrina Carla S.
Canlas, Ma. Karen T.
Casupanan, Josephine C.
Cayanan, Raffy L.
Cordero, Cromwell L.
Cortez, Edgardo Jr. G.
De Guzman, Rea B.
Dela Rosa, Arwin G.
Dizon, Angelica Irene S.
Dizon, Grace-Lyn P.
Dizon, Roldan C.
Fernando, Diana Trisha M.
Ferrer, April Rose B.
Guina, Stephanie H.
Huricks, John David A.
Juco, Ed Jefferson L.
Lacson, Jenina D.
Luat, Ma. Abigael D.
Lumaking, Joycel G.
Mallari, Kristine Rae D.
Manalang, Mary Len B.
Manganti, Arlou Anne Klein S.
Manuel, Mary Joy B.
Mendoza, Christian E.
Miranda, Ivan Royce C.
Nunag, Nikka N.
Pelayo, Peter Jordan S.
Piad, Iris Chester R.
Pring, Zed Gene Carrol M.
Pulbos, Abigail Q.
Quiazon, Gracia Mia R.
Reyes, Realyn M.
Reyes, Rona M.
Reyes, Vincent Laurentte V.
Reynolds, Jacqueline V.
Rodriguez, Adrian D.
Salcedo, Cheryl T.
Salvador, Crissy Anne S.
Salvador, Jan Paolo DL.
Santiago, Mark Angelo L.
Simeon, Stephanie Kay D.
Smith, Ronald John R.
Soledad, Camille Nicola L.
Tan, Mark Angelo R.
Tatlonghari, Isah M.
Tiru, John Anthony S.
Yturralde, Harjay Louie Q.

B. THOSE WHO WILL RECEIVE A GRADE OF (INC):
Kindly see your instructor ASAP for your special exam.
Arceo, Kate I.
Agliam, Paula Jobelle E.
Almendral, Kenard C.
Anunciacion, Precious Ann P.
Aquino, Christian Dale G.
Audea, Niña Welsie B.
Austria, Mark Anthony P.
Batac, Reneanne A.
Bautista, Benedict E.
BERNARTE, Oliver G.
De Guia, Karla Eufrecina D.
De Guzman, Honeywell D.
De Guzman, Raniel T.
De Luna, Jay Michael V.
DIZON, Maria Carmela G.
Fernando, Marie Cristle B.
Forte, Tommy Arvin Q.
Franco, Suzerain B.
Gerona, Joana Marie O.
GERONIMO, Mar C.
Gomez, Jennifer R.
Gonzales, Russella Francesca G.
KAKEGAWA, John Paul T.
Lacson, Anna Victoria D.
Lansang, Paula Clarizze D.
LAUD, Joseph Ian N.
MANANSALA, Aldo M.
Maneja, Jinky V.
Mangio, Regine G.
MANITI, Derilee M.
Mariano, Cindy T.
Mendoza, Jean Rose G.
Meneses, Ramsey B.
Miclat, Jeffrone Jay C.
MORALES, Marjorie C.
Muñoz, Reina E.
Ocampo, Kassane Karl S.
Pangilinan, Ruth Easter R.
Parayo, Levy T.
PINEDA, Jeremiah F.
PORNILLOS, Carey M.
Robles, Arnelyn D.
Sanchez, Dale Tristan P.
SANTOS, Edleanne C.
Sarmiento, Julienne T.
Savirola, John Victor D.
Sibug, Corina Mae A.
Sto. Domingo, Gerard Dominic Y.
Supan, Dian Ross T.
Tayag, Tracy
TORRES, Garlian P.
Yumul, Ma. Louiza G.

also log on to Nicenet and Myspace for rechecking
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

TO ALL BSN 1-2:
PLS SEE MRS GONZALES ASAP
Almendral
Dizon
Lacson
Maneja
Reyes
de Guzman, R.

THESE FFG PPOL SHOULD TAKE REMIDIAL CLASS TOM. 8 AM BIOCHEM
STUDENT NO.
045170
045012
045212
045605
045726
045996
045354

CoFfEe,, CoFfEe,,

2005-04-07T16:21:00.000+08:00

March 19, 2005..

11pm,,

Coffee Overdose,,

with KC,,

She wanted me to keep this paper from this coffee shop..

Which says..

"YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN..."

=instant coffee takes too long..

=You channel surf faster without remote.

=When someone asks you "how are you?", you say, "good TO THE LAST drop!"

=you want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

=you want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life..

=You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish Prison (I say: that is bcoz they servegood coffee..)

=You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee(I say: coffee keeps me awake!!)

=You name your cats and dogs "cream" and "Sugar" (I say: My dog's name is SADAM. but good point,next time, I'll name it Sugar...or coffee perhaps..)

=You get drunk just so you can sober up

=You speak in perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson (I say:I can also speak FRENCH ANDCHINESE when I'm drunk!)

=Your thermos is on wheels.(I say: when taking exams, I wanted to bring along the thermos in my desk!)

=Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position. (I say:suck wat?? hehe!joke)

=You think CPR stands for "COFFEE PROVIDES RESUSCITATION" (I say: WATEVAH!)

Yet another DaY

2005-04-07T16:14:00.000+08:00

woah!!! another day has passed again... everyday, I wake up in the morning, wondering,"What can I do today?".. wake up from my bed, wash my face, brush my teeth, cook Breakfastfor myself,take a shower at about 9am, go out and meet my barkada and play badminton till 3pm, go home, sleep, eat dinner ( a soup and 2pcs of bread.. ), watch TV (I really don't watch soaps ontv but everybody else here does, so it's like i don't have choice! but anyways, I enjoy naman, specially the Full House, though I watched the final part already.), go back to my room,wash my face, brush my teeth, and sit infront of my PC, till i finally fall asleep.. at the endof the day, one question always pops-out of mah head, and that is, asking myself "what have Idone the whole day?"...

AS of today, aside from my daily routine, I have driven again to and fro Magalang for the Tea of my lolo(mother's side..)Have almost finished the book i'm reading(the alchemist), had a bunch of laughs (tanx to MelanieMarquez!),ate fruits (watermelon, mouth watering unripe mangoes with bagoong, apples and orange.),ate cadbury, (My mouth cannot stop eating!), and of course, thought of my ex... a lot as usual...

My activities for tomorrow are all lined up! I'm going to drop my lolo (this time my father's side.)to his barber to have his hair trimmed "para daw gwapo pag umuwi" sa Tita Glenda koh as what Mom had said... then going to school, check out details for the claiming of cards and also checking of the failed students..(my classmates I mean,, Kitam, though the semester is over, istill have obligations to my section.. anyways, it's just fine.. SOMEHOW, they would remember me as responsible officer!diba?? ), I'll be posting them here.. since my PC isn't functioning well, I have to go out to surf the net (I hate it when my PC caughts virus!It happens all the time!then i have to let a PC technician reformat it over and over! PARENG MIKE,TULONG NAMAN!

I'm quite enjoying this vacation kahit sa house lang.. not going anywhere.. like my recent vacations specially when we were still in Cavite and my dad works for the WG&A co., eventhoughI just stay at home this summer, I could say, I'm lucky already to have been able to travel tosome places like Isabela, Masbate, Ormoc, Palawan(El Nido),and some places before.. I mean, not all people are that lucky, I'm just an average and not RICH person from a simple Family. Tanx to my dad's work then. WE were free from any expenses! even our food and accomodations..

If there's a thing that I want to achieve this vacation, that is certainly.. Peace Of Mind..This is my first summer without the person that really mattered to me.. which makes me sad naturally as what any other lover would feel.. I'm trying my best to make something out of this COLD SUMMER NIGHTs(as the song says),like I wanna know myself more and be contented with what was behind us.. (for crying out loud Gaylord! You should be contented now!).. I had thought of thatperson so much every now and then,, (my ex i mean..) I had promised, It'll always be that person..and that'll never change.. I am loyal to my words..even if it would hurt me,, perhaps, i could learn how to be numb.. It's almost 2am, guess I just to sleep away these thoughts.. I still have to get up early tomorrow!and do a lot of things! goodmorning!!

P.S.> I also want to grab a glass of Latte 2morow, go to carmelite and pray for the pope's soul,and go for a quiet 5pm walk on the Villa Angela park...Miss my ex a lot...

Badminton day2

2005-04-05T16:13:00.000+08:00

My body aches! Grabeh, 2day straight playing badminton with my friends and all my joints and muscles are cramped! (tumatanda na ata ako e!) my ass, my hips, my arms and legs! GOSH! Actually, my mom wanted us to swim daily! Me and my brothers, at least 20 laps a day.. I could say, my brother really needs it! Anyway, it’s been a while since I have posted something new here! For some reasons, I was quite busy with my final requirements, and with our visitor, My Aunt Lyn and my cousin and Uncle James.

On the first few days after my final exams, I had watched a lot of DVDs, one after the other. And I enjoyed them! Some of them is The Jacket, the Hitch, The Aviator, Son of the Mask, Garden State, The hostage, and so much more! There’s another movie that I wanna see, this time I wanna see it in a cinema and that is Miss Congeniality2.

Been thinking so much of my grades.. of what could be the results of my finals.. ever since the mid term exam till this finals, I could say my studies were greatly affected by what happened to me last January.. My Zoology is quite good, I suppose, but not my Biochem, I doubt IT!!! Most of the question that turned out on my exams weren’t the ones that I had studied! GRRRrrrr! But anyway, Prayer is the only solution I guess, I gave my best despite of the great depression I feel inside that I had tried to ignore many many times! i know I have to get over it now… as in now, or else, I don’t think so that I could concentrate more on my subjects for my 2nd year…

if... if..

2005-04-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

If I were a month I would be...
-> December,, the atmosphere is nice,,

If I were a day of the week I would be...

->Saturday! got nothing to do at all!

If I were a time of day I would be...
--> 12 mn,, I will transform into a warewolf! harrr...

If I were a planet I would be...

--> Pluto,, the furthest of all!

If I were a sea animal I would be...
--> corals.. so that I could be of help to some other sea creatures!

If I were a direction I would be...

-> east..

If I were a sin I would be...

-> L.. u// s'' T>> very tempting!

If I were a liquid I would be...

-> cold water! that can cool you down!

If I were a tree I would be...
-> acacia! to provide shade for travelers

If I were a bird I would be...

-> ADARNA!! hehe! joke! rather, Love bird or parrot that can sing.. to take away d' stress of people

If I were a tool I would be...

-> chainSaw!!! CUT.. cut... CUT!!!

If I were a flower I would be...

-> a rose.. loved by lovers.. esp the ladies

If I were a kind of weather I would be...
-> rainy weather,, people would wanted to be home and sleep all day long!

If I were a musical instrument, I would be...

-> EVERYTHING! as long as it creates good music!That's why tho i know how to play the guitar and the piano, still i want to learn how tho play other instruments..

If I were an animal, I would be...
-> BEAR!!! Big and Mighty!

If I were a color, I would be...

-> blue.. very appealing color(aside fr red of course!) and signifies mystery and strength

If I were an emotion, I would be...
-> rage! too much anger...

If I were a vegetable, I would be...

-> broccoli and cauliflower and potatoes

If I were a song, I would be...
-> over and over by 'neLLy'.. best song to describe my life now..

If I were a movie, I would be

-> City of Angels... like Nicholas' character,, ready to sacrifice eternity for the one i love

If i were i sport, I would be
-> SOCCER SIEMPRE!

.....

2005-03-31T15:14:00.000+08:00

At last, our final exams for this semester is over. Kaso nga lang, I have to do my thesis for our Filipino project tomorrow. In addition to that, GOSH! I choose to take another exam for my Zoology, I wasn’t quite satisfied with my score that’s why. It just came into my mind just by now, still I can’t enjoy my weekends. Thought I could watch DVDs this weekend! Hmp! Anyway, I just hope that my grades in other subject were good..

ThE CoFfeE aDdiCt

2005-03-26T11:32:00.000+08:00

it's already 2am in the morning, still i'm not yet sleeping.(hello?? isn't it obvious!you're typing on your Computer!)I can tell that the neurons of my brain is activated by the great amount of caffein that i just had ingest!I guess I had drank at least 10 cups of black coffee eversince 9pm last night. I had finished 1subject (reviewing, I mean) for the finals and right now, the connection here is VERY VERY VERYSLOWWWWWWWWW..... It's like an hour or so before a page is fully down loaded.. I wanna play Tantra on-line pa naman! Grrrrr.... This is one of my stressful holy week EVER in my entire life..I can't enjoy it, got lot of things to do, my PC is, i supposed, somehow broke, and i'm kinda nervous for the finals, i don't know, but thisis the second time that i really felt not quite ready for it, or maybe, WLA LANG AKONG GANANGMAG-ARAL...just like last term, i know, i did no good on my exams! well, i can't turn back the hands of time..nangyari na e!

still can't sleep, it's 2.30am na... i don't know wat to do now, the connection still remains slow.. my messenger cannot connect! i thought i can finish uploadingmy web yesterday, but, nah, i didn't ! i just hate it when i put up deadlines to myself and i can't finish 'em up on time!

Last Wednesday, My mom asked me to drive her to Magalang. The traffic was really terrible! Butanyways, I enjoyed driving, that was my longest drive, from San Fernando to Magalang. Kaso nga lang,I can't forget what happend to the lady who was hit by a counter-flowing tricyle. Kahit na Trike lang yun, kawawa yung nabundol! i saw what had happened... kasalanan ng Trike! One of the thingsthat I hate in our country streets are the IMPATIENT, HOT-TEMPERED, "SIGA" drivers of any kindof vehicles! Specifically the Tricycles! the lady was tagging along her 3-year old child and on herarms was a less than a year old baby.. Thank God, the children wasn't hurt much, lalo na yung baby..On the other hand, kawawa din' yung nanay, I saw her left leg na nanlupaypay.. It seems like it wasfractured.. very dreadful scenario! biruin mo ba naman, sa side na kotse nangyari. I didn't freakedout but my mom did.. (hay, mga babae talaga...) Well, i just hope that the lady is duin fine now.

3am na, still can't sleep! but my head hurts.. It's sleepy already but my eyes won't sleep.. Tita's arriving later along with my cousin Brandon from Malaysia.. I could remember his fatty bumm-bumm!just like mine!(laughs) They come back here once in awhile to check out on my lola.. I miss her too..

TaLe oF mY WeeKend FeVeR,,,

2005-03-21T18:14:00.000+08:00

Well, it’s holy week na. May people realize the real essence of this season. I had a wonderful weekend, though very tired! Last Friday, a friend celebrated her debut. Earlier that morning, I had fever. My tonsils are swollen. I didn’t practiced for our P.E. day. Somehow I still managed to be there. Pareng Mike, thanks for fetching me. Angelli again, I’m sorry if I didn’t sang as like what I’ve promised. Anyway, I was chilling during the program, my lips were trembling because I felt really cold though I was wearing a long sleeves. After the debut, we went to Partyplace, drank a couple of bottle, played billiards, and watched the band with a couple of gorgeous vocalist. I felt better after that, then we finally went home. I guess I got into bed at almost 3 in the morning. Mom really waited for me. The next day, I still have my fever by the way, we had competition of the dance contest, luckily though I didn’t practiced the day before, we won! Many people were surprised when they saw me dancing (perhaps, they just don’t know I can dance too, all around ako noh!). I really didn’t enjoyed because of the fact that I really don’t like my partner, he isn’t supposed to be my partner anyway!!! But when I saw the crowd and the people cheering for us, well, I had the urged to give all I have, and somehow, it paid off. We won as I’ve said. Just one thing I hated that moment, we won and I haven’t seen the trophy TILL NOW!!!! Nor touched it! After that, I went home at about 2pm, and slept till 5pm, I was ought to go back to school for the culminating night of our college and we were supposed to meet at 5pm. Good thing she went to her dent and she was late too, kundi, it’s very embarrassing. Past 5pm, she rang me up and woke me, I took bath fast so that I would just be waiting for her at school, she ask me to wait for her to finish dressing up before I would leave the house, and it almost took an hour.(I ain’t complaining pero bakit matagal? I always wondered, lalo na mga girls na pkikay..) anyway, she called back at bout 6pm, I left home, and my friends, lei with ken, and IC with Mark, were already there waiting for us. But still she isn’t still there. For the next 30 minutes, I stood at the front gate waited for her, “nasa telabastagan na kami” , I felt excited seeing her and I know in myself that I never felt as excited as like that, the last person made feel like that is K, KP I mean since they’re both K. I waited and just our of the blue, WOW!! The wait was worth it! I was mesmerized with her! The first thing she told me was “pasensya na” and the only word came out of me, was “ok lang.” I almost said, “ok lang, maganda ka naman!!”.. so there, we went in, me with her, mark with IC, and Lei with Ken. I can feel that my friends were kinda worried for me, for they know what I have gone through with my past. I admit, I still love her, and what I feel for that person I was with that night was just, well perhaps, infatuation. Still haven’t told her that I like her. The common factor about us is that we both went through the same painful experience, her boo left her for another gal in Manila and I was also left by mine but I don’t know why… but his ex still has connections with her. Anyway, I just like her, I don’t love her okei?? That’s what I always wanted to make clear.. the next few hours, we enjoyed our dinner, the band and by about quarter to 11, we both went out, and dropped by the coffee shop nearby the university because I promised her to take out for coffee before her Kuya fetches her. As usual, we talked bout our ex.. she even asked me to keep the coffee tissue for remembrance. and then when her kuya arrived, hinatid ko siya. And I went back inside the campus, the party was almost over, then as usual, before I went home, I guess that was bout 12midnight, I enjoyed a quiet walk from the church to the 7-11 store nearby, grab a bottle of water, and I simply felt happy.. then I went to the open internet shop, surf for bout an hour, then I went home, as usual, 2am! And I still have my fever.. but I’m happy inside, I know…

IF I KNEW

2005-03-18T14:54:00.000+08:00

If I knew it would be the last time,
That I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
And pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
That I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
And call you back for more.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I’d hear you voice lifted up in praise,
I would capture each action and word.
So I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well’ I’m sure you’ll have so many more,
So I can let this one slip away.

I’ll love you for always,
And I mean it from my heart,
Deeply into you I fell,
But when you we’re gone my heart fell apart.

But if it’s too late for us,
Around you, I’ll always be,
Always with you, my heart and mind,
‘till the end of my life I’ll find.

it hurts like hell

2005-03-17T11:25:00.000+08:00

OVER AND OVER

Chorus

'Cuz its all in my head

I think about it

Over and over again

And I can't keep picturin' you with him

And it hurts so badYeah

'Cuz its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

I replay it over and over again

And I can't take it and I can't shake it no...

Verse 1I cant wait to see you

Wanna see if you still got that look in your eye

That one you had for me be-fore we said our goodbyes

And its shame

That we gotta spend our time being mad about the same things(Over and over again)

About the same things (Over and over again)

Oh, but I think shes leaving, oh man, shes leavingI dont know what else to do,

I cant go on not loving you

Verse 2I remember that day you left

I remember the last breath you took right in front of me

When you said that you would leave

I was too damn stuborn to try to stop you or say anything

But I see it clearly now

And this choice that I made keeps playin' in my head

Over and over again, playin in my head, over and over again

Oh I think shes leavin, oh man, shes leaving...

I dont know what else to do,I cant go on not loving you

Now that I realize that I'm goin downFrom all this pain you've put me through

Everytime I close my eyes

I lock it down... I cant go on not loving you

s h o u t

2005-03-09T14:09:00.000+08:00

shout....

that's what i really wanted to now... for about 2 days now, my sleepin hours isn't satisfied... in addition to that, I've got so many things to do.. the thesis in my filipino subj, the oral defend for the Philo.. the research in my zoology subject... not to mention my fraustration for the student council. I really ought to run for the upcoming election, but just because of a meeting that i had missed, i lost it.. I was planning to run independently but there's no enough time.. anyway, on the other hand, there's still 3years to go.. there'll always be nexttime... Right now, i really am tired and all i can think of is just my bed.. i badly miss my bed....

Oral Defend..

2005-03-09T10:27:00.000+08:00

1. Philosophy as “love of wisdom” is a lifelong search for truth, an abstract transcendent truth which encompasses the human person and his fellow-seekers. Hence, the search for truth is (a) both personal and at the same time, communal and (b) an experience of the tension between a sense of knowledge and sense of ignorance.

2. One way of looking at the practical value of philosophy is to see the relevance of philosophy to the individual in terms of justice. To understand such a conception is to appreciate the affinity of philosophy and justice in two interrelated movements: (a) to do justice requires philosophizing and (b) to philosophize necessitates becoming just.

3. A brief survey on the history of western philosophy reveals how a prevailing comprehensive doctrine affects the course of world history and vice versa. The gradual shifts from one era to another showcase man's innate desire and continuous search to have a fuller, more meaningful existence.

4. Existentialism, as a philosophical movement or tendency in the 19th and 20th century highlights the despairing mood of human existence. It emphasizes man as the giver or discover of meaning to his own life and to the world by stressing human subjectivity, man's existence, authenticity, human freedom and responsibility as it peddles the post-modern belief, existence precedes essence.

5. Phenomenology is a way of seeing, of grasping the world from man's lived experience and as a method, makes use of epoche, and the phenomenological transcendental reductions to describe man's experience.

6a. The human being is a mystery, which must be learned slowly, lovingly, with pain and tenderness, and which is never learned completely.

6b. At first glance, freedom and responsibility mean the capacity to choose, to act on my own, to be the source of my concrete actions and to be accountable for them. But man, as he gradually unfolds in the world, "is" not only free, he "becomes" free and "response-able". Freedom then develops into "self-possession within an objectively directed project in life."

7. Man's being-in-the-world is not a bodily life alone nor a spiritual life alone. It is a life of an embodied spirit (etre incarnee).

8. Human labor is a human activity rooted in man's nature as a "species-being." Work is not simply “a means to a goal outside.” Rather, it is a "value" in itself for it is through work that man realizes his true humanity. Hence, the human person does not only “work in order to live” but “man lives in order to work.”

9. Love is an activity of giving, the disinterested giving of self to the other whereby I enhance the other's unique value and in so doing enrich my own. Thus, love of the other as other does not counter to self-love but presupposes it.

10. Man is a being-towards-death, and in death man comes to grip with his wholeness and brings to completion the commitment of his whole self to the whole of reality.

BumPy Road

2005-03-06T16:44:00.000+08:00

The road to success is not straight.

There is a curve called FAILURE,

A loop called CONFUSION,

Speed bumps called FRIENDS,

Red lights called ENEMIES,

Caution lights called FAMILY.

You will have flats called JOBS,

But if you spare called DETERMINATION,

An engine called PERSEVERANCE,

Insurance called FAITH,

And a driver called GOD,

You will surely make it to a place called SUCCESS.

???

2005-03-04T15:48:00.002+08:00

IT's CF time, and here i am,

Putting into words what i feel,

Trying my best to explain what it is,

I din't know if I'm just dreaming or is it for real?

I like you and I know this is true,

Like now, you just smiled at me and you chase away my blue,

you're About just 5 seats away from me,

But it seems as if you're just near me.

Maybe you don't know what I really feel,

Even I don't know if this is real,

You caught me for more than20times looking at you,

I just wish, that somehow, you even have a clue...

"im happy that you told me you dremt of me last night..."

pHiLO sCHEdS

2005-03-04T10:33:00.000+08:00

9-Mar-05
9:00-9:10 Salas, Sheena Marice S.
9:10-9:20 Ong, Manuel Louie P.
9:20-9:30 Velarde, Mary Jane D.
9:30-9:40 Navanale, Laxman Edelmar T.
9:40-9:50 De Leon, Mar Joseph B.
9:50-10:00 Loredo, Ma. Bianca Cecilia T.
2:00-2:10 Alejandro, Kristine Cecille C.
2:10-2:20 Viloria, Ariane M.
2:20-2:30 Pamintuan, Darren A.
2:30-2:40 Castro, Jerone P.
2:40-2:50 Dinjotian, Bianca M.
2:50-3:00 Austria, Christian C.

11-Mar-05
9:00-9:10 Lansangan, Paula Jessica B.
9:10-9:20 Lintag, Karen C.
9:20-9:30 Gumabon, Ferlyn G.
9:30-9:40 Deang, Mamahalin S.
9:40-9:50 Dizon, Brandon S.
9:50-10:00 Rivera, Ryan Lorenzo Y.

12-Mar-05
9:00-9:10 Peralta, Keno Rion R.
9:10-9:20 Tagle, Francesca Marie F.
9:20-9:30 Ramos, Joanna Lynn B.
9:30-9:40 Cayanan, Raiza L.
9:40-9:50 Gomez, Jennifer R.
9:50-10:00 Robles, Arnelyn D.

14-Mar-05
9:00-9:10 Calingasan, Angelli M.
9:10-9:20 Audea, Niña Welsie B.
9:20-9:30 Sarmiento, Julienne T.
9:30-9:40 Mendoza, Jean Rose G.
9:40-9:50 Almendral, Kenard C.
9:50-10:00 Magat, Krystle G.

16-Mar-05
9:00-9:10 Tiru, John Anthony S.
9:10-9:20 De Guzman, Honeywell D.
9:20-9:30 Maneja, Jinky V.
9:30-9:40 Fernando, Diana Trisha M.
9:40-9:50 Quiazon, Gracia Mia R.
9:50-10:00 Maganti, Arlou Anne Klein S.
2:00-2:10 Lacson, Jenina D.
2:10-2:20 Soledad, Camille Nicola L.
2:20-2:30 De Guzman, Rea B.

18-Mar-05
8:00-8:10 Reyes, Vincent Laurentte V.
8:10-8:20 Changcoco, Reanell M.
8:20-8:30 Pasion, Joel B.
8:30-8:40 Gaza, Maria Immaculada S.
8:40-8:50 Manalo, Ranilaine T.
8:50-9:00 Donato, Gaylord T.

buSy,,, BuSy,,,

2005-03-02T15:08:00.000+08:00

I just finished making an outline for our thesis together with my assistant leader. Though I can go home now, still have to stay coz of my meeting for the upcoming Student Council elections. I have filed my candidacy yesterday and the elections will be on the 11th. (it's preety soon..) anyway, my opponent is also a co-officer in the first year level and a friend also.. Yesterday also, I had a nice time with a friend and I really enjoed being with her. We even went to the cafe where my ex and I used to hangout and to the Carmelite chapel. I read another posted bulletin from my ex that caused my disappointment...(nothing new..) that's the reason why i posted such words yesterday... It has really affected me, I'm not fully recovered, i'm havin' a hard time but i know, i should DEAL with it... I remembered our Counselor telling me that denial is not a good way of moving on... have to go now! ChoW!!!!

I'M JUST A HUMAN

2005-03-01T15:41:00.000+08:00

I feel rage,
I feel Jelous!!!!
I felt like I was PLAYED!!!!
I feel... FOOLISH!!!!!

BOOKS!!!

2005-02-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

FOR THE SAKE OF THOSE STUDENTS TAKING UP PHILOSoHY CLASS UNDER MR.B.R.SUNGA, HERE ARE THE SUGGESTED BOOKS TO BE READ FOR THE FINALS...

to know more... log on to nicenet.org

1. Brothers Karamazov by Fydor Dostoevsky (5)
2. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaardner (5)
3. Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl (5)
4. Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway (2)
5. Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus (1)
6. The Alchemist by Paolo Coehlo (2)
7. The Fifth Mountain by Paolo Coehlo (2)
8. Life of Pi by Yann Martel (3)
9. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (2)
10. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank (2)
11. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom (2)
12. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (2)
13. Bad As I wanna Be by Dennis Rodman (3)
14. The Stranger by Albert Camus (3)
15. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera (5)
16. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (5)
17. Love in Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (5)
18. Animal Farm by George Orwell (2)
19. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (3)
20. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy (3)
21. Paboritong Libro ni Hudas by Bob Ong (2)
22. Bakit Baligtad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino? By Bob Ong (2)
23. The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff (3)
24. The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff (3)
25. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (4)
26. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (4)
27. Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach (2)
28. Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach (2)
29. The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (1)
30. The Bleachers by John Grisham (2)

unknown reason

2005-02-27T19:09:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes people ... come into your life and you know rightaway they were meant to be there; to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen ... to you at a time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming these obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, or will power. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck, illness, injury, love or lost moments of true greatness. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience cancreate who you are, and the bad experiences can belearned from. In fact, they are probably the mostpoignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks yourheart, forgive them because they have helped youlearn about trust and the importance of beingcautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, ... love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart, and eyes to little things. Make every day count, appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set yoursights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual andbelieve in yourself, for if you don't, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it."

This message was sent to me 4years ago by a good friend...

i now believe that every word this message

tells something that is true....

A must see

2005-02-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

I've been anticipating this movie for about 3years now... and at last, the film was out last December(though its showing date here in the Phil. was just earlier this month...) My enthusiasm with this movie began when we were in Sophomore. We presented it for our final project in English. Anyway, the film is really good! and also the production, the acting and all..Butler did a great acting in bringing to life the Phantom's character.

Try also watching other musical movies such as the classic the Sound of Music, Jesus Christ superstar, Moulin Rouge and Chicago! Some of my collections, if you want, you can borrow from me, just let me know.

Visit this site for more photos:

http://html.thekansascitychannel.com/sh/idi/entertainment/the-phantom-of-the-opera/

Words of Wisdom

2005-02-22T12:13:00.000+08:00

"Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point... "

the heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing...

-----Blaise Pascal...

read if you want

2005-02-18T11:43:00.000+08:00

Sa tuwing magkasama
parang bale wala
nagmumukang hangin
dumaang bale wala
ni ayaw mong hawakan
aking kamay

Chorus

Kulang na kulang ba
hindi pa ba sapat
Inubos kong lahat
panahon ko sa iyo
anong gagawin
di mo pinpansin
etong damdamin
aking paglalambing

Minsan ako'y nakahalata
ika'y tulala
malalim ang iniisip
malayao ang tingin
aking nalaman
nabaling sa iba
ang nilalaman ng iyong
damdamin
(chorus)

bridge

Buong magdamag, nagisip
kung bakit
paanong nagyari,
ito sa akin
ayaw mo na pala, ba;t di mo sinabi
nagsawa ka na, paano na?
(chorus 2x)

valentine's day

2005-02-14T18:26:00.000+08:00

Some ways To enjoy your Valentine's day even without having someone....

1sT, go out with friends and enjoy the day!

2nd, Eat a lot with them

3rd, WatCh a movie and rent Dvds so as not to bore yourself when at home...(i highly recomend National Treasure, and meet the Fockers...)

then, go out with your family, treat your mom! and siblings out! consider it as a Date!

Valentine's day is not only for people who are inloved...

TO BE CONTINUED......

WEEKEND!!!!

2005-01-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

i feel so tired that my mind is just thinking about my bed! right before i got into a jeepney, i was thinking of renting some DVDs so as to relax. It's not that i'm exxagerating things but lately, i don't have time even to watch the news! that's how busy i am.. but i'm quite satistfied with my accomplished works this week. (except for my quizes coz' i got low... )i didn't have Enough time to study.. anyway, i'm still thankful that i made it through the weekend. I somehow also enjoyed the Psyche Fair in our school. They conducted some tests about a person's personality. some of the results were true, some were not. They have this LOVE booth, the Self - esteem,and also the booth where you were to write and they will examine your penmanship. Some of the results are kinda opposite of who I am. but anyway, it was just for fun! There was also this Bio exhibit,... and of course there was also our English week! well i was all responsible for the paper works, but hey! eventhough they're just PAPERS and DOCUMENTS, my.... it's very tiring! especially when following up different colleges! I've ended this week with a blast! Ha! i have hosted the Oral Interpretation! (by the way, tanx ate Anne for the help!) i'm looking forward for a relaxing weekend!

GoOd MoRniNg WoRLd!

2005-01-27T08:54:00.000+08:00

today, i woke up at 7:30 am. Usually i wake up at 5am to prepare for school in which i have my first class at 7am EVERY DAY!!!! (Except for Sat. and Sun. of course!) yesterday was another tiring and stressful day(AS USUAL) i got home at 9:30pm., ate dinner, took a shower and WHALAH! i got to my bed! hey, i dreamed of U-KNOW-WHO! well, i could say my lastnight's dream was one of the unforgettable.. But it was kinda wierd coz' there are some people i didn't expected to there, like my P.E. teacher when i was in my Senior year in secondary School. I woke up, as far as i could remember, 5 times, coz' of my phone. i was recieving' messages till' 3am from some friends(apologies, i didn't replied coz' i was enjoyin' my dream!HAHAHA!) Anyway, here's another day ahead of me! i just took little of my time to post something in my blog.. By the way, tanx for that gal who posted a comment on my poem, i didn't knew somehow, my blog is viewed by other people that i don't even know. Anyway, GOOD MORNING!!

confessions of SupErMaN

2005-01-24T17:17:00.000+08:00

"I'm more than a BIRD!

I'm more than a PLANE!"

I have this bullet proof chest that no one can hurt me; this strong arms, that i can carry the whole world upon my shoulder, this sharp senses that nothing can ever pass out on my sight. All my task I can finish as fast as a speeding bullet.

For after quite some time, I thought I was all these. I thought I was this "all-strong-that-nothing-can-make-me-weak" being. People always see me with this strong personality, that nothing can make we weak. But what they do not know is that there's something beneath this bulletproof chest, this stratums of skin,this masterpiece of flesh, and hallow walls of my heart that continued pumping blood through my whoile body.

I myself cannot think why something so abstract like this takes all my strength awayawhile on the other hand a concrete wall is just something i can turn into pieces of stone in just an instant! Why something like this, make me scream out her name in the middle of the night when no one in my whole life ever made me do this!

For nights and days, I have travelled and search each ends of this planet in search of just one thing; in search of my Lois Lane. She is not just a thing, rather, my everything, my all...
I have been up there, flying to the clouds and racing with the stars, I had touched the skies but when I went up and fly with her into the skies, it felt different, the touch of the clouds felt different. Different from the million times I touched and felt it. Everynight, i always takes her and together, we had fly across these skies, and travelled so far away from the world that always seemed to bothered us form our solidarity.

With her in my arms, I found contentment. There beside her, I found my dwelling place, the only place I could be who I am; just who I am, just as I am, simply "Clark Kent".
The way the wind blows upon her hair, just the way he eyes looks at me, the way her lips talk to me, it drives my inner senses wild! With just a kiss, my heart beats faster than ever! I feel this aldrenalin rush that never ever came through me after all the battles that I have faced and all the struggles that I have dealt with before. My knees never trembled like that way just at the very sight of her!

But now, , ,

Now the problem is that my Lois Lane is gone. I had travelled for miles and miles, i had crossed every ocean, and searched for every city in this world just to look for that preety face of hers that my soul only looks for!! but I can't find her anywhere! I'm slowly weakening but the hope is still in me.. I hope I could find her soon. Sooner than tommorow, tonight, the next hour, or perhaps, sooner than the next tick of the clock.

Please, if you ever saw my dear Lois, tell her I need her,
For I might be defeated by my enemies.
Tell her I need her,
and I might die missin' and searchin' for her..

H - o - W - ?

2005-01-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

how could you hold my hand, and pretend you need me?

How could you say you miss me, if you're not even longing for me?

how could you look endure to be with me, if you can't even stand to be near me.

how could you look into my eyes, and see how I really feel.

how could you see me shatter into many pieces and stood there emotionless.

how could you take me for granted when all of my attention is on you.

how could you tell me you want me, if it's not ME who "really" want.

how could you tell me you love me, if what you feel is not for me.

how could you say you're thinking of me, if you're dreaming of someone else instead.

how could you want more, when you had all of me.

how could you want me to fight for you, when you ought not to fight for me.

how could you ignore my plea, when all i ask from you is just a little LOVE...

look!!!!

2005-01-16T15:27:00.000+08:00

Think bout havin' a peirce in the tongue??
think again...

2005-01-12T14:28:00.000+08:00

Many things happened this past few months, things that some are expected, and some, well, they're not. It's been a while since i Posted something that i made in this Blog. and for a reason why is this so is that i became so busy to certain things. Actually, after this have to go back to the Level Coordinator cause I'm obliged to do so. Lately, my sleeping habits are unusual. Go to sleep after going to school(bout' 3:00pm during Teu,Wed,&Thurs), then i'm going to wake up at bout 12am and till day light, there's no stop in studying.. that's how my life works lately, same old routine, wake up in the morning, take a bath, go to school, go home, then sleep, And so on and so fort. i rarely even find time for myself like watching my favorite game in star sports or even watch the daily news at 6pm. I feel like getting tired of my daily routine. but what to do, this are the things that I'm supposed to do.. the Christmas vacation went well, and so as the simple celebration that i'va shared with my family though my dad wasn't around. Not to mention that i got so drunk last New Year! I had this aftermath the following morning where my relatives from the mother's side had a reunion and i was just in a corner having this headache. i know learned my lesson from that one, I should have known better that heavy drinking is not good! Reminds me of the topic we discussed in Bio Chem a while ago bout drinking Alcohols... i just thought that i would somehow feel relieved from stress. Before Christmas came, some provinces of the Philippines was strucked by calamities. and just few days after Dec25th, there came another natural catastraphe,this time, it concerned different countries in the Asia( thankfully, we're not affected.). Many had been damaged and lost their lives. Me and my family were monitoring the news in the CNN and looking for improvements but, improvements were not found upon watching rather more and more victims and missing people were reported. Though I'm not one of those people strucked by the calamity, i somehow felt, affected... I cannot find the right words to finish these....

haggard me,,,

2005-01-12T13:59:00.000+08:00

THIS

HOW

I LOOK LIKE

WHEN I'M SO TIRED....

ANOH ba TALAGA???

2004-12-21T16:14:00.000+08:00

bat ganun ang buhay...
mahal mo siya...
may mahal siyang iba...

Ako'y litong-lito nah...
di ko alam kung anung paniniwalaan..

gabi-gabi, di nwawala sa isip koh...
Ano ba talaga kaya ang gusto nia??

ako o siya?

mahal ko siya, at walang duda dun'..
ngunit sa likod ng aking isip, di maiiwasang itanong sa king sarili,
ANUH BAH TALAGAH HAH?????

ngayong pasko,
isa lang ang hinihiling ko,,
sana malaman nia na sa sarili nia kung ano...
ANO BA TALAGA!!!!

MuShY MoMeNts,,,

2004-12-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin

May gusto ka bang sabihin?
at hindi mapakali, ni hindi makatingin
sana'y wag mo na 'tong palipasin
at subukang lutasin, sa mga sinabi mo na........

[REFRAIN:]
Ibang nararapat sa akin, na tunay kong mamahalin

[CHORUS:]
oh oh oh oh wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong........ pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kht pa kalayaan mo

hindi ko man inaakala, na ako'y isang bituin na walang sasambahin
hindi ko man ito ipakita, abot langit ang daing, sa mga sinabi mo na

[REFRAIN:]
Ibang nararapat sa akin, na tunay kong mamahalin

[CHORUS:]
oh oh oh oh wag na wag mong sasabihin
sa hindi mo nadama itong.........pag-ibig kong hanang
ibigay kht pa kalayaan mo

[BRIDGE:]
At sa gabi, sinong duduyan sayo?
At sa umaga, ang hangin na hahaplos sayo

[CHORUS:]
oh oh oh oh wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong........ pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kht pa kalayaan mo

3 ImPoRtAnT tHiNgS,,,

2004-12-04T18:54:00.000+08:00

3 thinngs to govern: TEMPER, TONGUE AND CONDUCT

3 things to CULTIVATE: COURAGE, AFFLICTION and GENTLENESS

3 things to COMMEND: THRIFT, INDUSTRY and PROMPTNESS

3 things to DESPISE: CRUELTY, ARROGANCE and InGRATITUDE

3 things to WISH FOR: HEALTH, FRIENDS and CONTENTMENT

3 hings to ADMIRE: DIGNITY, GRACEFULNESS and INSTINCT

3 things to GIVE : ALMS to the needy, COMFORT to the SICK and THANKS TO THE ALMIGHTY GOD

the uncontented soul

2004-11-30T17:23:00.000+08:00

in the middle of the night,

My soul soars to somewhere I dont know,

and it feels like in an awful plight,

the world have only left me with thy gnaw.

Long have I waited for my spirit to be freed,

Seppressed emotions always gets to weave,

in this Life, what else could I need?

Feeling of anxiety in depths of me never seemed to leave.

"When shall you be satisfied enough?"

often i ask thyself,

Living with a dogmatic thought,

"I should need nothing more though life is tough!"

with this gift of mortal life, in the past, i lived it all by myself.

Now dawn of day break comes once again,

I shall gather up thy things and continue thou quest,

Queries are still to come, Answers unknown yet, my destiny's thou shall unfold,

should i stumble & fall, or win & succeed,

Life MUST go on, so as the search for thy peace and contentment.

GC CLaN,,,,,,,,

2004-11-26T17:31:00.000+08:00

GC stands for GRADE CONSCIOUS! A term that we used when we were in third year to those people who are very sensitive when it comes to their academics! Nothing could ever be compared to high school life as what most people say, and that is very true. Even now in college, though some of the barkada are in the same school, I still miss the high school days. I’ve known these people ever since 1st year high school. We belonged to the cream of the crop section. Hangga sa till 4th year, we still are together! Madami na ding pinag-daanan ang GC, andyan na yung di ako naka – grad kasama sila, mga away at tampuhan, mga group study sessions, ang pag punta sa apartment namin dati pati na rin kina Feq, ang mga biruan, at siempre, mawawala ba naman ang mga chibog – a thing na talagang pinagkakasunduan naming lahat!!!(peace guys!) nung first year kami, mga musmos pa kami, pero ngayon, wla ng musmos sa min! I learned, grew and matured as a person, a student, and a friend with this people. There was a time pa nga na may tinago ako sa kanila and they knew it even before I had told them. Yun din yung isa sa mga characteristics ng GC, magaling makiramdam! Sa ngayon, may mga tao sa amin na napalayo, may nag punta ng Manila, ibang universities and even overseas, but it was never a hindrance for us to forget each other. We still have get together once in a while.

“change is the only thing permanent in this world”- (True isn’t it?) as what someone always told me, but there are some TRUE things that don’t change in this world and those are abstract things unseen by the eye, such as friendship! Even though now that we all aren’t in the same universities taking up our degrees, we still kept the friendship alive! Ito ang kapamilya ko and where I truly belong! GC rulesssss!

My granma and the one who wreck my heart

2004-11-26T10:49:00.000+08:00

It’s been a long time(for me) since I had posted something in my blog… I’ve been somekinda busy in school lately…studying hard for many quizzes everyday and some extra tasks from my orgs. There was even one time that I was reviewing for my fave subject, and that is Philosophy, that I over drank coffee while reviewing that I didn’t even notice that I drank about 6 or 7 cups of it… and what happen is that by the time that I am supposed to sleep, I couldn’t sleep.. I stayed up till 4am and slept for just an hour before going to school that morning…

Anyway, hey, it’s almost Christmas!! And I’m sure many people are preparing for the season, (even I, I am saving money for my godchild, family and few friends) despite of the crisis that some are going through..
Christmas is a season of giving, happiness and most of all, thanksgiving… this years season for me really is a sad one coming.. Because I lost two of the important people in my life that I really love and care for, my dear Grandma, and the one who broke my heart.

Last year’s Christmas for me (and my family) was quite sad. This is because of my grandma who was diagnosed to have brain tumor. We did everything we can to stop the growth of the tumor, but there was nothing we can do, the tumor was already deep and big. It’s not that she’s already dead! But she’s already bed readen.. She neither can speak, talk, sees nor hear… and it breaks my heart to see her like that. She had been there for me eversince I was a “baby”. I don’t want to be obnoxious but I know her better than my own parents. I’m even more close to her than my own mother. The first moment I heard she was sick, I was shocked and I even tried to hold back the tears but when my tita and my cousin Ann showed up their emotion, I was carried away too. It was few weeks before Christmas too when we knew of her sickness. At first it was hard for me coz who could have thought, a very generous, religious and kind lady would have that kind of sickness, she doesn’t deserve it! When some of our relatives and family friends knew what happened, they showed the same reaction and they rushed into the hospital (I happen to be there looking after her with Grandpa) to visit her. With the people who came and showed their concern for my Lola, that really proved to me that she is a very kind person. My lolo stood very firm despite of this painful thing but I can see it in his eyes, he’s sad.. And, undoubtedly, he misses her. my lolo and lola were the “Picture Perfect”-marriage for me, even though they were already old, the love was still there. It took me a month or so to accept the fact that we cannot do anything anymore to save her. The only thing left for me to do was to constantly pray that God would take care of her. She has done her mission very well in this world – maybe that’s why she has to rest. She had been a great mother, wife, sister to my lolas, grandma to me and my couz and a good Christian. I take time to visit her every now and then, especially when I put her NGT Tube (it hurts me to see her go through a physical pain when I’m starting to insert the tube in her nose coz it’s the only way she could eat). I feel she is still conscious but cannot show any signs of response. I know she’s still struggling… if I only could exchange my life for hers, I’ve done it already.. I miss her a lot…

It’s been 3 months since I had one of the painful things that ever happened to me. Well, I’ve been inloved with this person for about 4 or 5 years already. And it’s never easy for me to forget bout it, most specially the PAINFUL things that this person has done to me. The past Christmas' were never complete for me without this person. I have done a person would do to prove his love for someone. Yes, I have traveled miles and miles just to be with this person, LITERALLY I DID! I have crossed the deep ocean; I have raced through the wire! I’ve done all, it’s not that nanunumbat ako, but really, I’ve done everything and in the end, it was never enough for this person pala. Nung kami pa, I had promise to myself that I’ll take good care of this person and I’ll never let go of the feeling. Many people warned me, friends, families, but I didn’t listened to them and this is because I believed in something that I thought was real.. Just last week, I read this words from the one that left me telling “2 years of relationship and at the end, I realized, it was just an infatuation, AND “NO” LOVE was INVOLVED.” the poem wasn’t for me but I was affected in a way or another. Obviously, the line was pertaining to me. Ok na sana, kasi all the while I thought, kahit papaano, may naramdaman siya para sa akin, e yun pala, wala… WALA.. How could this person pretend that there’s something inside of this person? how could this person ever endured faking her own emotion… misact when I knew, inloved siya to ANOTHER person, wala mang one month after ng break up but mas masakit ito… nalaman ko pa di dahil sinabi niya sa akin kundi dahil naka post sa blog nia.. This person should have told me, but no. Maybe this is just the FIRST time na magpost ako ng sumtin tungkol sa kanya, so if you read this, I hope you won’t get mad (sa bagay, you wouldn’t even care) ikaw nga, mas masakit pa dito mga pinag popost mo… by the time of the break up, there were many questions hanging in my mind. But time thought me the answers to them, the answers that hurt me more because they were all true (truth hurts right?). I have build my dreams sa taong, I was contented then.. I thought seryoso siya, pero di pala.. di totoo naramdaman nia(MERON BAH?). I think I should stop now, for I might say everything lalo na mga ginawa niya sakin, loving is not about measuring and mentioning things you have done for the person you chose to give your love to. From the moment I have committed myself to what I feel, I really told myself, I will give all, and I did. I have no regrets, coz I know in myself, I have done my commitment, my promises. Till’ now I’m still hurting and there was no day that I didn’t thought of that person( God knows I do)…. But for now, I should move on, tsaka nalang.. these was my final words to myself “I will not suppress what I feel, nor would I nurture it, if it is meant to stay, it will stay, and if not, then it’s not.” I know, wherever that person might be, masaya siya, mas masaya. And I even can’t imagine that this person is thinking of me much more, miss me.. whatever makes hr happy, I’ll be happy too, even though my heart’s torn into billions of pieces..

Think you’re the only one who’s feeling lonely this season? Well, think again, because I also am. But life should go on for us, no matter what pain going through. Like me, I feel pain of loss. These two persons are big deal for me. They mean so much, for my lola, I know she is happy now that she’s in a total state of peace, though no one’s certain if till when should she go through physical pain and the person I’ve ever loved this way, I hope you might find your contentment. My friends and family are the only people left with me, they make me strong, and I’m glad I have this opportunity to say “thank you”. Again before I end this up, if there are things that have hurt you or something that you didn’t like while reading it, I’m sorry.. tanx anyways for taking time reading..

merry Christmas to all!

Weekend Blues

2004-11-21T14:45:00.000+08:00

10 p.m. still couldn’t sleep… that’s why here I am putting my thoughts into words. Actually, I don’t know what to say really. It seems as if my mind is in a total state of block out! Remind me of this morning, I woke up round 6a.m., though there’s no class (coz I usually got up at 5am during weekdays). The first thing that came to me few moments after I woke up was that I thought I was just dreaming again! (FYI: everytime we sleep, we dream even more than once. It’s just that we can’t remember it after waking from an Altered State of Consciousness) I was dreaming that I’m in my bed, with scattered books round me, dirty clothes on the floor and the radio on. It was only few minutes when I realize I wasn’t dreaming at all coz I was really am at my messy room with my things scattered round me! I remembered I was so tired enough tired enough that I really go “groggy” to be lazy enough to put out my things in bed and so I fell fast asleep leaving my things scattered round my bed. After doing quite clearing up, I went down stairs only to find nobody! My mom and our nanny went out and so as my siblings and dad. “strange” I thought to myself, there was a deafening silence in the house. An hour after, my mom came home finally. She told me she’ll be going somewhere. Then I just felt like going out but didn’t really know where to go. So there I was, my mom dropped me by, then I rode a jeepney but still didn’t know where to go. I got off to the public place here in AC and walked around a little bit. Felt like laughing to myself realizing how fool can I be? I didn’t know where to go next! (sounds pathetic isn’t it?) so I rode again a jeepney this time I was heading to my school. Good thing I brought along my book with me, coz there was something I must research bout, but it wasn’t a big deal! I thought of doing them in advance, but then again, I’m such an idiot, I forgot my ID! I couldn’t borrow books from the library. So instead, I just went to the video shop, and I just rented few DVDs. I thought of going to a good friend’s house, good thing she was home when I called. (TANX NGA PALA!) I stayed there for like the whole afternoon. And I went home finally afterwards.. I felt lost the whole day through, with no certain destination, and no plans at all.

This weekend has been a complete dull-but-enjoyable day for me! Most of the things that I did aren’t planned in past. Anyway, it happens once in a while that you come to a point that you don’t know what to do or where to go next.

SuMtiN' tO pOnDeR oN

2004-11-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

THIS READING MATERIAL WAS GIVEN TO US BY OUR PHILOSOPHY TEACHER.. AND SOMEHOW, I APPRECIATED THE REAL ESSENCE OR RATHER THE MESSAGE OF IT...AND MADE ME STOP FOR A WHILE AND TAKE TIME TO REFLECT UPON MYSELF..THIS ESSAY GAVE ME A GLIMPSE OF WHAT REALLY IS HAPPENING TO OUR SOCIETY TODAY.. IT SHOWS THE REALITY OF LIFE.... And IN SOMEWAY, IT HAD AFFECTED ME.. I HOPE YOU MAY ALSO FIND TIME READING IT, I ASSURE YOU, YOU WILL NOT REGRET IN DOING SO..

read along my friend...

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"..."

an adapted essay entitled:

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME

By Dr. Bob Moorehead - A professor from ADMU...

my dilemma

2004-11-16T14:13:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 3 am…
I felt the cold air climb from my foot to my head,,
I realized I just got up from a dream
A dream that will never ever come true..
So I deeply caught my breath,
Close my eyes, and a sudden bliss of my suppressed emotion outburst!

Wherever I go, it’s always you that I see,
Whenever I speak it’s always you that I talk about…
Whatever I do, it always reminds me of you!!!
And even when I go to dreamland, you’re always there…

I don’t know till when should I face this dilemma of mine,,,
Because I know in myself, I’ll will always feel the same for you,,,
All of these times, I have fully reminded myself…
I should stop now…
Now that you’re gone,,,,
And left me on my own,,,,

Wherever You Are

2004-11-11T17:09:00.000+08:00

"i love to see the oceans beauty
and the moon that shines above
alone in the sand looking at the stars
wishing someday i will find true love
would it be nice to see the morning
with the one you love the most
would it be nice to say goodnight
to the one you hold so close
to your heart, to your heart
the wind that blows the dove
is the wind that blows my love
hope it'll find its way to you
wherever you are
i love to sit in fields of green
looking deeply through the sky
watching birds as they fly by
hoping someday faith will bring me true love
would it be nice to hold someone
so dear and near your heart
would it be nice to hear those words
i love you from the one
that you love, that you love
the wind that blows the dove
is the wind that blows my love
hope it'll find its way to you
wherever you are
[break]
the wind that blows the dove
is the wind that blows my love
hope it'll find its way to you
wherever you are
id love to see myself oneday
in the arms of someone
who will share her life with me
selflessly
someday, you will find your way
to where.... ohhhh
yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeaaaaah oohhh
the wind that blows the dove
is the wind that blows my love
hope it'll find its way to you
wherever you are
the wind that blows the dove
is the wind that blows my love
hope it'll find its way to you
wherever you are
wherever you... are."

2004-11-10T14:42:00.000+08:00

these ppol naman...they have been a part of my life for the past few months in school..

“Mga Pasaway: BSN 1 – 2 UNLEASsssHED”

2004-11-10T14:31:00.001+08:00

PART II:

(C:Oh ano pagod na ba kayong kakabasa?ako din, naninikal na sa kakatype dito sa kama ko… anyway, di bale inspired akong tapusin ito… sandali nalang tatapusin ko na…) BSN 1- 2 Ba’t ko nga bang nasabing pasaway?(C: Keep in mind, I’m not excluding myself ok? Isa din akong pasaway!)san kaba naman makakakita nag didiscuss, e may picnic na nagaganap sa likod? May chips, candy at everything! Pag may assignment, ang iba, aga dating para mag-copy…ang iba naman, pasimple, sabay sabing “Pacompare?” (C: pasimple pa kayo mga tsong mga tsiang, style ko rin yan pag di ako sure sa mga sagot ko!he3!) ang mga LATE GANG sa Antropology subj natin, kabilang nanaman ako, sina Darren, LAX, Nyssa at iba pa na paminsan naghihintayan pa na sa labas para di mapuruhan pag-pasok…. At kapag naman walang teacher sa first subj, lam nio ba san ang tuloy namin, sa mcDo!yayaan na yan! E ang mga acoustic sessions ni Carey at mga magigiliw na manganganta na sina RG(before siya umalis) at medyo lang naman po… ako… na paminsan, napapahinto ang lahat at napapasabay sa kantahan lalo na pag may nagwawala na… mtagal-tagal din ang issue tungkol sa “iba” nating mga classmate na walang humpay ang parinigan pag sumasagot sa mga tanong ng teachers…(C: pansin nio din ba yun? Hay… hindi ba OBVIOUS?) san din kayo makakakita na karamihan ay naka lolipop habang may klase, and take note, pati teacher, bina-BRIBE din ng lolipop!he3! si baroy!he3!Alam niyo rin bang suki ng office ang section namin?!ang daming mga issue na palagay ko hangga SEC.30 alam ang latest! Hay… na talaga…

Kahit ganito lang po kami, mahal ang mga taong ito… at kahit dissolved na ang section namin, we still remain as one family…(C: feel ko lang naman, kung kayo hindi, eh… di ko na kasalanan yun, maybe di lang kayo pinalad na makilala ang buong klase natin ng husto…”) malay nio e, ang iba sa atin ay magiging magkakaklase pa ulet, but u know what, impossible na ulet na mangyari na solid parin tayo sa iisang section.. I thank you guys for all…some of you really knew me, and I never hid anything from you, kilala niyo talaga pagkatao ko.. tanx for accepting me for who I am.. I learned a lot from you all…. Sana din kayo, ganun din kahit konti man lang sa akin….i gained WISTfulness W>isdom, I>ntegrity, S>ensitvity, PINAKA IMPT SA LAHAT, T>enacity…..just what I was searching for within myself..

Here some of my fond memories with you:
Arceo Couz- well, diyan sila mkinig… indeed, napaka reliable na mga tao…. I know that my secrets are all safe within you!
Audea, Lantican, Mhye, Jamie, Tin, Graciella, Krystle and all!- well, natatandaan ko tong mga ‘to as, well, mga makukulet na seat mates koh! Andyan para makipagtawanan!
Ang Family koh, si Gruto, Dagul, si IC, cristle, Dha, Foni, Ann, Pam, anj – hay… naku, isa kayo sa mga pinaka namimis ko! Kasi pag-halos ma ngiyak-ngiyak nako sa problema koh, andyan kayo to cheer me up! GUYS, I APPRECIATE IT SOOOOO MUCH!!!!
John, Garlian, Topey, Mike, jeff and Co. – ei, remember nio yung nag-videoke tayo?
Jen, danika, joyce- sa pakikisama at pag-care sakin!
Wez and Julia- mga times natin sa Canteen at wala tayong ibang ginawa pag-usapan sila!know wat I mean?
Simon- sa mga pang-iinis!
Pia- sa care din and pagiging aware sa buong class…tanx for the friendship and the telebabads sa phone!
NO HARD FEELINGS SA MGA NASABI KONG AYAW NIO… AT SA MGA DI KO NABANGGIT, SPECIAL KAYONG LAHAT SA KIN… I’LL NEVER CHANGE BASTA IF YOU NEED ME OR IF MAY PROB, I’M STILL THE CLASSMATE AND FRIEND YOU ONCE HAD… EVENTHOUGH I’M NOT YOUR PRESIDENT ANYMORE…WATEVER PROB MAN YAN, LALO NA PAG CONCERNING ACADEMICS…I DON’T CARE IF SOME OF YOU WHO READ THIS THINKS I’M NAÏVE OR MADRAMA, WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS THAT I HAD A CHANCE TO SAY THANK YOU..

BSN I-2 Ka ba?
“What makes the BSN 1-2 Pasaway OR unique?!?!”
“R U WILLING TO HAVE AN OUTING AFTER PRELIMS?”

“Mga Pasaway: BSN 1 – 2 UNLEASsssHED”

2004-11-10T14:31:00.000+08:00

“Mga Pasaway: BSN 1 – 2 UNLEASsssHED”
PART I:
hay… ang bilis talaga ng panahon, parang kahapon lang ng una akong pumasok sa klase na yun.. mistulang mga anghel na napaka babait at tahimik ang mga taong naroon sa classroom na yun’! kapansin-pansin din na ang iba nama’y napakatahimik at walang imik… isa narito ay ang sina Topey, si Jamie na galing pang Laguna at si Krystle na taga-Bulacan naman… ng ako’y unang araw, ako’y yinaya ng aking dating clasmate sa CS na si Nysa na maupo sa likuran(by the way, alam nio ba na si Nyssa katabi ko yan ever since 3rd yr at 4th yr?) , ako naman ay pumayag dahil sa pagiisip na para makaiwas sa mga gurong paniguradong magtatanong ng kung ano-ano… (COMMENT: TAG LISH nalang ha? Mahirap pure tagalog… di ako makata…) yes, I might have escaped from my teachers that first day, kaso nahirapan naman akong makinig sa likuran… pero yung pag upo ko sa likod ng few days ay may naidulot din naman, nakita ko ang iba’t-ibang mga tao sa paligid ko… (C: HAY NAKU GAYLORD…. SIEMPRE MAY MATA KA NOH????) what I mean is that I had a chance to see the overview of my class as a whole… iba’t –ibang personality pinagsama sa isang klase… may tahimik gaya ni Potchi, may napaka active din gaya nina Pia, Ralph, IC, at Jen, may mga mukhang astig tulad nina John, mga pa cute na guys na kinabibilangan ng tropa ni Ryan na mga Bosconian, at pahuhuli ba naman ang mga babae tulad nina Foni and the rest of the gals??? Bago ako lumipat sa may harap, nakila-kilala ko na rin ang ibang mga ppol na nasa likod… napansin ko lang, sa likod medyo maiingay, ng sa harap naman ako umupo, eto na, nakilala ko na ang ibang mga taong sobrang seryoso sa pag-aaral! (that’s what I thought in the beginning…)aside kina Laxman, Pia, RG, at Potchi na nakilala ko na before, nakilala ko din sina Jamie, Mhye, Tin at lahat ng mga nakaupo ko sa likod ng row ko… nung una, we were given the chance to sit werever we wanted to, but some teachers preferred to have their own sitting arrangement… isa na dito si Ma’am Santos na teacher namin sa CF, (C: baba bigay grade.. :<) ng dahil dito, nakilala ko naman sina Foni, sina Audea, Bansil, Graciella at iba pa na mga naging katabi ko…ganun din sa ibang subj… ang mga nakatabi ko, lalo kong nakilala. Election ng COR, I was surprised, I was one of the elected officers along with IC, na napaka supportive na VP nmin na walang sawang pag-kakatak sa mga clasmates nmin, si Darren na Sexytary namin, I mean SECRETARY! Si Laxman, napaka tamad maningil, Well sometimes lang. (C: peroWAG niong isnabin! PAG DATing sa abono, wla akong ma-say… open hands yan sa money!he3! ang aming PRO na si Angelli na DI MAN LANG ALAM NA CLASS OFFICER SIYA HANGGA NGAYON… (C: alam nio rin ba, nung first meeting ng mga COR ako lang magisa ang nag-attend, even though, somehow I survived sa CYO elections!) hay……..

Days passed by, and so weeks also passed by too, NAKU, umiingay na po kami’t masyado na atang naging komportable sa isa’t-isa… madalas naming na-iinis sina maam Santos, ang aming giliw na guro sa CF na walang binigay na test kundi TRUE or FALSE(C: makamurit naman!) , si ma’am Lumba(C: our sexy and preety teacher! Remember nio ba nung parang shocked ang reaction natin when she told us na kapapanganak niya lang few months before the classes started? Wla kasi sa FIGURE diba?) na ubod ng bait kahit mahirap magbigay ng quiz sa algebra, si sir Baroy na teacher namin sa Anthropology,at papa ng mga classmates namin tulad nina ***,*** and *** (C: kilala ko kayo! In fairness, kasundo ko si Sir sa mga test! I love his subject!!!there was a time nung di ako nag-aral ng test, sinakto niang essay lang!) hey guys, remember nio naman yung FASHION SHOW NATIN SA KANYA??? One of my most memorable projects… ung mga taong grasa… ay, I mean CAVE MAN pala, yung fog machine… yung mga pinagsasayaw ng mga model natin! Kahit nagka technical problem, aba, nag- enjoy si sir! Karamihan sa atin perfect dun! Tapos naman, si Ma’am Galang na walang kasing unique na mag-discuss dahil sa sobrang paghiyaw nia sa klase natin ay halos mapiyok-piyok ang boses… si Sir Jay at ang mga DO or DIE test natin sa kanya sa Psychology.. one item either you get 95 or 70….(C: kakatakot!) (C:SIR, tanx for all the advices you gave not only to me but also to those few pipz din na may problem sa buhay nila… I really learned something from you po, in and out of the classroom…even the technique for relaxation that helped me po in sleeping lalo na when I felt I’m beginning to develop insomia…) si Maam Ruadil at Maam Goce na walang patawad sa Chem Lec. na memorization ng mga oxidation numbers and all… samantala naman sa Lab. Walang kawala sa mga experiments na kada step I-che2ck lahat… at higit sa lahat, sino ba naman ang makakalimot kay ma’am Virginia na mabait din kaso napuno lang na teacher namin sa English.. short description lang yan ng mga teachers namin, but I, personally, am thankful na most of our former professors are very considerate at bait… for me, from every teacher, I learned something… si sir jay, mga payo sa personal life, si ma’am Ruadil na laging nag-papaalala na dapat equal ang time sa lahat, si ma’am Santos sa spiritual life… hay….

ha? Hindi ko na siya mahal?

2004-11-09T17:18:00.000+08:00

Naranasan mo na bang magsabi nyan???Kung OO ang sagot mo, pwes! alam mo ba na out of 10 people na nagsabi nyan 5 ang nagsasabi ng totoo?? yes! meaning 5 ang sinungaling!
Kc, minsan maraming dahilan kung bakit nasasabi yan...
iSiPin MO ito..
Nasasabi ang linyang yan sa mga sitwasyon gaya ng..
NAGUGULUHAN = ito ung mga taong nasa isang relasyon pgktapos ehmay iba pang mahal na iba.. kailangan nilang mapaniwala ang sarili na hindi na hindi na nila mahal ung isa para, mahalin naman ung isa pa. (HALIMBAWA: im sori may iba na kong mahal, HINDI NA KITA MAHAL) pero echos! ang totoo di ka naman syur kung sino pa talga sa kanila ang matimbang... gets mo? (kung hindi kawawa ka naman..=)
MASAMA ANG LOOB = eto naman ung mga taong katatapos lng hiwalayan o nagawan ng di maganda sa isang relasyon. (HALIMBAWA: bakit nya nagawa sakin toh! HINDI KO NA SYA MAHAL!) pero ay naku dala lng yan ng sama ng loob mo..sige hinga ng malalim..tulog ng mahimbing.. paggising mo bukas naku...sya na naman angnaalala mo..(miz mo noh? =)
BASTED = as in ayaw nya daw sayo.. PARE OKEI KA LNG? (SAGOT: okei lng ako pre, wala na un hindi ko na rin sya mahal) uyyy pa-macho epek.. SISTER OKEI KA LNG? (SAGOT: yuh im okei, as in hindi ko na sya mahal noh?!) ows? go gurl!
LIHIM NA PAG-IBIG = eto naman ung mga taong ayaw ipaalam sa kanilang minamahal ang totoo, para lang mapagtakpan ang nararamdaman nila, lalo na't binubuking na sila.. (HALIMBAWA: Hindi ko sya mahal ah, friend lng ang turing ko sa kanya.) ay naku! yan din sinabi ni jolina kay marvin!
PA-I WILL SURVIVE epek = eto ang mga taong gusto ng kumawala sa hawla ng alala ng taong minamahal..(HALIMBAWA: pagod na ko..from now on, kakalimutan ko na sya, hindi ko na sya mahal! smart na ko ngayon, i will survive!) ...hehe sino ka? si kris aquino??
TAAS NG PRIDE = eto ung mga taong di nila maamin sa sarili nila na mahal nila ang isang person kc nga malayo sa standard nila ung gurl/guy or lets say may ibang dahilan..pero nainlab sila. (HALIMBAWA: yun? hindi ko sya mahal noh. ako pa kilala nyo ko) sabay Naka cross ang mga fingers ng kanilang hands and feet!
TAKOT = eto ung mga taong dahil ilang beses na nasaktan sa larangan ng pag ibig, eh ayaw ng magmahal kahit na mahal naman talga nila ang isang taong nagmamahal sa kanila..(HALIMBAWA: ayaw ko ng masaktan ulit...hindi kita mahal.) ..o tapos? hehe
PAGHIHIGANTI = eto naman ung mga taong binabalikan matapos ng hiwalayan...syempre sobra nga naman sila nasaktan kaya sasabihan nya ng "MASYADO AKONG NASAKTAN SA MGA NANGYARI, HIND NA KITA MAHAL" ...o loko bagay sayo!
maraming dahilan, maraming paraan para sabihin natin ito ..pero sana, sa susunod na sabihin mo sa kanyanghindi mo na sya mahal .. eh ung totoo na.Yung kaya mo na, yung sigurado ka, at un talga ang nararamdaman mo..mahirap na.. Paano kung mawala pa sya?...Paano kung mahal ka pa talaga nya?..Paano na kung mahal ka nya...Paano Kung mahal ka rin nyaat mahal mo pa rin sya.
At sa ibang taong makakaranas naman neto..pag sinabihan ka ng HINDI NA KITA MAHAL! / HINDI KITA MAHAL!
chin up! and say...
STYLE MO BULOK! LIARS GO TO HELL!!!