Baliw na Kagiliwgiliw

Malungkot ako na Masaya na di ko alam...

Kagising ko, ewan ko ba sa dinamidami ng pwede kong maalala, naalala ko na ados pala ngayon. Biglang pumasok ang mga linyang "are you gonna stay with the one who loves you, or are you coming back to the one you know.. someone's gonna cry if they know they'd lost you, someone's gonna thank the stars above..". at sa kasawiang palad, ako ang iniwan, ako ang umiyak. awang-awa ako dati sa sarili ko.. Ang daming "bakit ganito." "bakit ganun." sabay sisi sa sarili tapos sisi din sa kanya... Pero habang lumipas ang panahon, unti unti kong naintindihan kung anu nga nangyari. Hindi lang pala ako ang may kasalan, di lang din siya, pareho kami.. Hindi ko ikakaila ang natitirang kung anu man ito na nararamdaman ko sa loob, pero sa totoo lang, masaya ako para sa kanya na masasabi ko ng walang bahid na kamunghian o kahit anu paman kahit na ang huling pagkakataon na nagkita kami ay sadyang pinamukha niya sa akin kung anung nawala sa buhay ko.. Masaya ako at walang ibang hinihiling na sana saan man siya ngayon, faithful na siya sa kung sino man ang pinili niyang makasama.. dalawang taon na sila ngayong ados na toh.. nakalahati na nila ang nalakbay naming mag kasama, ibig lang sabihin na talagang nahigitan na niya ako sa buhay niya.

Wala na akong ibang mahihiling pa kundi
sana maging totoo sila sa isa't-isa at wag magkakasakitan..
Matutunang pag pahalagahan ang isa't-isa at wag mag kwekwenta ng mga kamalian at pag kukulang.
Pati na din ang pagiging ma-pride na dapat iwasan.
Mga maliliit na bagay na dapat ipinagpapasalamat, mga pagkakataon na kayang ipadama kung gaano mo kamahal ang isang taong alam mong mag papasaya sayo na di dapat palampasin
ni sa isang araw,
oras,
minuto
o sigundo man..
Mga pagkukulang ko na alam kong na punan na nang iba..

Para sa iyo:
Masaya na ako para sa'yo.. Saan ka man mapunta, kahit bday ko di mo na alam, kahit pati ung pag kikita nating ng Setyember a disisais, alas-dose ng tanghali sa parke na bumuo ng pangarap ko na hindi ko alam kung ma kakamptan ko pa, sana kahit papano, may natira parin kahit konting "ako" sa "iyo". Patawad sa mga pagkukulang ko.. Tao lang din ako, hindi gaya niyang perpekto..

Maligayang bati sa inyo..

Truth about COKE ZERO

I became a drinker when the soda came out of the Philippine market early this year for the taste really wasn’t like any of the other diet sodas I’ve ever tasted. A cousin of mine sent me a SMS the other night warning that this soda causes Cancer. Even on Samat the other week, I overheard from a group of people (who were talking loudly) talking about the product with the same issue and a while ago while having my lunch with some classmates, it was again opened. So when I got home I was reminded by it.

Background:Coke zero was introduced by the Coca-Cola Company in the year 2005 with the primary aim of replacing the Diet Coke (which I don’t like) with a Coke that contains no sugar but with a taste of the Coke classic. I have browsed through the net and found the ingredients of the product

Carbonated water (as for all sodas right?!), Acesulfame potassium(180-200 times sweeter than sucrose (table sugar), as sweet as aspartame, about half as sweet as saccarine, and one-quarter as sweet as sucralose BUT not containing HIGH CALORIC VALUE), Aspartame, Caffeine, Phosphoric Acid, Potassium Benzoate (just used as a PRESERVATIVE as for most of the sodas in the market) ,Potassium Citrate(used as a BUFFER) ,Sodium Benzoate (also as PRESERVATIVE for its bacteriostatic and fungistatic effects under acidic conditions) Sodium Citrate (acidity regulator), Sodium Cyclamate(30–50 times sweeter than sugar), Calories (0 in 100 ml - the nutrition facts doesn't lie)

What was really controversial from all part of the globe was one of the ingredient: Aspartame, which really struck me coz it’s been rumored to be Carcinogenic (layman: CANCER CAUSING specifically brain tumors—from which my granma suffered, brain lesions, and lymphoma). And very popular among diabetic patients for it is used as substitute for our table sugar, a little amount already is sweet enough to suffice a person’s satiety needs without adding up many calories. I know that its an artificial sweetener and knowing a lot of products in the market today contains aspartame, how come only with Coke Zero it was associated to have caused cancer? So I went further digging and found out from infos that the controversial on its usage had been going on since 1970’s in Europe where there were rumors that some groups of researchers were bribed by huge KNOWN companies (up to this day) to manipulate the actual results – some claimed it to be safe, some say it is not.. And believe it or not, IT IS STILL NOT YET PROVEN.

I wasn’t still contented - and to avoid added frustrations - I went on browsing. Later on, I came across on ASPARTAME’s metabolites (products of it once it reaches our system) – which probably why they concluded such:

Methanol and formaldehyde

Approximately 10% of aspartame is converted to methanol in the small intestine. Most of it is absorbed and quickly converted into formaldehyde (BY PRODUCT of human metabolism therefore may be excreted by our system in small amount). Some scientists argue that it doesn’t affect the body for it may only exist in our system in small quantity – not capable of affecting system. FACT: There is more methanol on fruit juices than our beverages with aspartame. It is later on mentioned that “exposure to very low levels of methanol and formaldehyde have been proven to cause chronic toxicity in humans” – in short chronic poisoning even IN SMALL AMOUNTS.

Phenylalanine

One of the known amino acids (simplest forms of your proteins) from which 50% of aspartame is broken down into this substance. Phenylalanine containing foods are slower in terms of absorption than with that of our beverage with aspartame thereby its fast absorption said to have the potential to radically increase blood plasma level of phenylalanine – it will then compete with other neurotransmitters because it can easily cross the Blood Brain Barrier. IN SHORT: affecting our normal brain activities; also it may cause seizures. BUT NO WORRIES because Large spikes in blood plasma aspartate levels have not been seen when ingesting natural foods. More it is NEUROTOXIC to a growing fetus if level of phenylalanine in plasma of a pregnant woman is consistently high – POTENTIALLY.

Aspartic acid

Approximately 40% of aspartame is broken down to this chemical and high concentrations of this becomes EXCITOTOXIN – causes damage on brain and nerve cells, target site are the areas not protected by the blood brain barrier. Such effects were proven when 1 scientist, Dr. John Olney found that high levels of aspartic acid caused damage to the brains of infant mice, and of course in those years (1970s) a lot of products were on the brink of their success in the market so his efforts and appeals in banning aspartame went into nothing.

CONCLUSION: As for all medications that we give to patients we care for in the hospital setting, we know that all has its draw backs; side effects and adverse effects (even vitamin supplements have) even if we are after having our patients well. And with all the time I spent browsing, sorry talaga, try as I might to find proof (because I also love the soda, 2^nd to pepsi that is) pero there is still NO CONCRETE proof that it really has a significant connection with the occurrence of neoplasms – cancer – to us. But with the 3 by - products of aspartame-presented potential ill-effects, well I think you be the judge.

FACT ABOUT CANCER: one of the leading causes of death world wide (consumed my lola’s life and great grand ma’s – would I be next??). and a lot of products in the market nowadays have ingredients that are carcinogenic (or potentially). Perhaps Cancer may be prevented by living a healthy life – for the same reason why I really admire Chinese people. But what is scary is that ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU HAVE CANCERCELLS IN YOUR BODY RIGHT KNOW? They are just waiting for a que to start their rapid multiplication (- then the fun never ends until your six feet under..)? This stimulus may be the smoke you inhale when you light a cigarette or the chemicals in your carbonated drink, or it can even be the ray of the sun on burning your skin, even the charred isaw that you just bought. Extra careful of your health is important because in this life, you only have one irreplaceable life especially in our world TODAY..

(forgive my grammar and typing, im really tired na.. and i tried to simplify complex words that i came across with while browsing for others to understand)

Questions answered..

ok, enough of the drama. Now this posting is for another purpose but since I've answered them din naman, maybe it's not prohibited for me to post it in my blog right? anyhows, here it goes>

1. Whole name: Gaylord T. Donato
2. Birthday: June 25, 1987
3. nickname: Gayle, Gay, Goq, Jabbz
4. Motto: “Everything happens for a reason”


5. What urged you to take up this course?

Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to become a doctor. I remember giving my speech on our preschool graduation that I wanted to become a dentist, then when I was at elem, I wanted to become a psychiatrist. Basta health related ang field ng profession. There is also something about the white uniform. (I was bedazzled by its beauty) I grew up with my uncle who’s also a nurse, I remember watching E.R. and Lois and Clark when I was kinder. No kidding and no wonder why I love Superman as well!!

6. Were you happy that you chose this course?

Very much! Even more excited when we were having the professional subjects because at last I was able to understand and uncover the secrets of the human body and other marvelous stuff about it!

7. What obstacles in your life as a nursing student have you encountered that you consider valuable, and that made you who you are right now.

(I rather consider it as a challenge not as an obstacle) Perhaps those were the nights and days of reading books, researching, finishing paper works, and beating deadlines that I believe, I was able to get through. Those were the times that I considered myself like a rubber band being stretched to my limits! Grabe! And yung pinaka recent, I just realized before I woke up, it was my fourth week of going to school and duty 7 days a week. I thought me that if you want something to get done, then you have to do what ever it takes. There was even a time that I forgot to eat for last 12 – 18 hours, I had hypoglycemia when I remembered. (and ate on time since then, somehow)

8. Upon encountering those obstacles was there a point in your life that you felt like giving up?

yah.. my pharma days.. grabe hirap! There were times I felt like crying trying to memorize those tongue-twisting-confusing-generic-brand names of the drugs with their indications! (whew!)

9. what things does other people don’t know about you that you’d like to reveal

Well, I’m a very sporty person, even tried playing soccer during my elem days not to mention I was a varsity player of volleyball and badminton back then. I was also a choir member since 2^nd

10. What things that you love to do that is not related on your course?

grade. I had lots of more to reveal about myself but the time isn’t enough to tell them all, I’m not just your ordinary student with a big-red-bag (some even call me the last of the teenage-mutant-ninja-turtle). So don’t judge a book by its cover.

Outdoors and sports, doing and making music (and not noise), doing and designing ads, computer stuff, computing numbers (but not algebra, more on money matters), deriving formulas (physics!), and driving!

11. What part of being a student nurse do you love most?

Love the part where you get to impart health teachings (which are at a level that our patients would understand naman) and they would just sit there curiously and listen to you attentively! As in they would really listen! (pero naman, factual naman ung ishashare dapat noh!di fabricated.)

12. Now that you are about to finish your course, how do you feel?

Extremes, happy and sad.. Happy kasi at last, I might be able to help out my parents and syempre tapos na sa studies (though I am considering to take up a Masteral some time soon), sad and scared coz I am uncertain whether or not there will be a job out there for me. Sino bang hindi di ba?

13. what are your plans after graduation

Since even we’re willing to volunteer in a hospital and not allowed to do so, perhaps, I’ll just be staying home, and binge over my notes and books to read more, watch my fave tv shows and do my daily jog to keep para di naman masyadong sedentary di ba?

14. If you could describe in one word how your life as a student nurse here in Auf was what would be that word and why?

CHALLENGING! Some people may thought that “Nursing? Kahit sino naman kumukuha nian?” or “Madali lang yan”, but not in AUF! Not that I am saying na mahirap ang nursing sa university natin pero di lang brains ang meron ka to be able to finish this course but also the heart to be humane enough to care for others and hands to serve other people from all walks of life because basing from experience, there were instances na nakahandle ako ng patient na nasa isang malaking suite at patients na nasa corridor. So you really have to be flexible and MUST HAVE the S-K-A! (I hope all of us will be able to carry these traits as we go on in our chosen career)

15. What are the different things that you would never forget in AUF?

I will never forget the cultural (definitely one of the awaited annual events), University days, the proper decorum (which reminds me of high school days) that we all must follow – AUF will never be the same without it. True that there are a lot of prohibitions in our school, but that’s what makes us distinct.

16. What advice / message can you give to your fellow graduating students and to the under graduates.

To my batch mates, first of all CONGRATULATIONS! We made it! Ironically, our graduation doesn’t marks the end, but the beginning of our journey. Our time will come, and good things come to those who wait, with hard work for the reviews and grace from God, let’s go for the 100% for the boards. Sabi nga ni Ma’am Zen kanina sa lobby, punuin daw natin ung nasa “Hall of Fame” – that’s what we used to call it during freshmen days..

Sa mga undergraduates, always be humble, study hard and please give dignity to our white uniform. You may not realize the value and pride of wearing the uniform but as time comes, masasabi niyo rin sa sarili niyo, this uniform is the proof of my hard work and sacrifices studying.

bashed heart.. broken soul..

He broke your heart
He took your soul
You're hurt inside
Because there's a hole

You need some time

To be alone
Then you will find
What you always know

I'm the one who really loves you baby
I've been knocking at your door

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

I've seen you cry
Into the night
I feel your pain
Can I make it right
I realized there's no end inside
Yet still I'll wait
For you to see the light

I'm the one who really loves you baby
I can't take it anymore

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

You are my only I've ever known
That makes me feel this way
Couldn't on my own
I want to be with you until we're old

You have the love you need right in front of you
Please come home

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

"I'll be waiting"
by Lenny Kravitz




Lenny Kravitz - i'll be waiting

no matter how hard i put it inside my head..
and tried to take it off my chest...
i still can't..
it still doesn't sink in..

my heart still bleeds...


maybe sooner,
i'll learn how to live on my own..
and just leave all of this broken promises and memories behind...

just the way YOU did...

i hate it that i still love you the way i do..